Chapter Fourteen
Diana's P.O.V. 2012
"Oh, Diana! You've heard of that new band One Direction, right? Well, I won tickets to see them in June and I want you to go with me! They're meet and greets and they're all so hot. I need to meet them!" Surprised that she is inviting me to something I raise my eyebrow, surprised.
"Why me?" I question, readjusting my bag on my shoulder. Rachel laughs as if her inviting me to spend time with her is normal. She casually throws her arm around me and brings me in to her body.
"We're friends, Di, just come on. It'll be fun."
Deep down, I know there is something wrong about this. She has never treated me like a friend, ever. Why would she be offering to take me to a concert? Everything inside me screams that it isn't a good idea. Every fiber of my being says to tell her what she is and where exactly she can go. However, I want a friend so bad that it hurts.
"Sure," I answer.
A smile appears on her face and she wraps me in a hug. It isn't a nice one. It is one of those hugs that feels unnatural and suffocating.
"I can't wait," she grins. I just nod in agreement; not fully knowing what I'm getting myself into.
***
The truck smells like potato chips and gasoline. My stomach churns loudly. How could she eat like this and still be so thin? "How was your day?" My mother asks, brushing her hair behind her ear. I don't answer her question. Instead, I brush it off with another statement.
"I got invited to a concert today."
Mom smiles from ear to ear and reaches over to pat my thigh. "That's great! I'm so happy that you finally made a friend!" She's not really a friend. I think to myself but I let her go on with it. "Now, we need to pick out what you're going to wear! You don't want to embarrass her do you? What concert is it anyway?" She rambles off as she turns onto the highway.
"Some band named One Direction," I answer coolly.
She only nods and continues heading towards our home. Yeah, I don't want to embarrass Rachel. Funny, how that's the only thing my mother cares about. She never even asked who 'the friend' is. For all she knows, I could be going with a serial killer. It's okay though, because I finally have a friend. Even my mother knows how alone I am.
The old pickup pulls onto our road and I unbuckle my seat belt, ready to leave the truck even if it was moving. However, she stops so I don't need to jump. Grabbing my bag, I sling it over my shoulder and shut the door closed behind me. When I turn, I startle and gasp loudly. Howard stands there, straddling his bike with a slight grin on his face.
"Hey, Diana. I see you've lost some weight."
I smile to myself. He noticed.
"Too bad it's not enough. You're still fat."
My face falls and Howard cackles, taking off without another word. My chest hurts and I turn quickly to head inside. I collide with my mother who stands behind me. Anger swells in the pit of my stomach. "Did you see that?" I question, wiping a stray tear from my eye.
She nods and fishes for the keys out of her purse. "Then why didn't you stick up for me? You're supposed to be my mom!" How could she?
"Kids are just cruel, Diana. You're going to have to learn to toughen up."
She unlocks the door and pushes it open. Without another word, I push past her and run to my room and slam the door behind me. Quickly, I lock it and throw myself on my bed, allowing the tears to finally flow. Kids will be cruel, toughen up. Toughen up? She doesn't even know the beginning of that. She doesn't go to work everyday and get criticized about her weight. She isn't ugly or fat. She has it easy. What does she know about being tough?
The door knob to my room jiggles and a few knocks sound on the wooden door. "Diana, open up the door. You know we don't allow you to lock your doors." She warns me but I don't care. I refuse to respond and the handle shakes again. "Diana, unlock this door now. You aren't being fair to me or your father when you defy us like this."
Oh, so she wants to bring up fairness now? Stalking over to the door I unlock it and swing it open. My mother obviously isn't happy but I don't even care anymore.
"Really, it's not fair?" I question.
She nods and goes to enter my room but I block her from entering: one advantage of being fat.
"Toughen up," I answer and slam the door in her face.
***
"Diana, open up." This time my dad's voice sounds loudly. "I'm serious, don't play this game with me little girl." Sighing, I make my way over and open the door, not even looking him in the eyes. He enters and doesn't even beat around the bush. "What you said to your mother was out of line."
"Really? What I said was out of line? She watched Howard call me fat and just stood there and did nothing! She said kids can be cruel and that I should toughen up! A mother isn't supposed to be like that."
Without a beat he answers back.
"Your mother is right. You do need to toughen up. You're too weak Diana. This world is gonna' run all over you if you don't be tough. So don't mistreat her because she tells you something you don't want to hear!"
He leaves my room, signaling that the conversation is over. Hot tears stream down my face and rage boils inside me. Can't they see what horrible parents they are being? Toughen up, toughen up, toughen up. Diana, you need to toughen up.
Quickly, I reach into my bag and pull out my pencil sharpener. I would toughen up. I would toughen up and show them. Swiftly, I break the plastic sharpener and pull the blades out. Tough. Tough. Tough. I take the tiny blade and press it against the inside of my arm. It burns and stings as I watch droplets of red exit the skin.
Come on, you're tougher than that.
I slice this time and grimace in pain.
It's not that bad. Toughen up. Keep going.
That's exactly what I do. With every slice and nick I'm getting tougher and more powerful. Soon, a knife won't hurt me. Yeah, I'll be tough. I'll be tough for my parents. Soon, they won't be able to tell me to be any stronger. I can do this.
I slice again and smile as the red drips out onto my wood floor.
Yeah, that's a tough girl.
*Author's Note*
Hey guys, I just want you guys to know how appreciative I am of you all! This story keeps getting bigger and I am so grateful of you all! Please, continue to vote, share, and comment and follow! I want girls to see this story and know that they aren't alone. Please, stay with this story. I promise, things do get better for Diana. I just have to develop the plot of the story and it will be beginning within the next few chapters. Thank you guys so much for reading! I hope you had a great Christmas and have a happy new year. :)
Shelby F.
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Diana (Z.M.)
FanfictionDiana (noun) radiant; beautiful "How can you treat yourself like you're nothing? You're so much more than that." "That's the thing, I am worthless."
