Impossible // Ashton Irwin

Chapter 15

I walked up to the mirror to look at myself in the last dress in my wardrobe, and after deciding that it was not acceptable, I took it off and threw it on top of the pile of other rejected clothes on my bed. Calum's Party was tonight and I had to look really good. Although I wasn't planning to actually be a part of the party, I was going to hang out with Michael and Jo, I knew Ashton was going to be there so I had to look like I had it all together, even though I'm kind of losing it.

I glanced across the room at Ashton's window. I couldn't believe it had only been one week. A week since I moved to this strange little town. Four days since I started school and met Ashton, since he crawled across that board into my bedroom. Three days since he saved my life. Two days since he was an idiot and ruined it all.

I ravaged through the pile of clothes one last time. Off to the side, I saw the perfect little black dress that Ashton would love.

The party was just a couple blocks from my house but it was past the edge of the neighborhood on its own huge lot. A perfect place for a party, far away from other houses. The closer I walked to the house, I heard the loud music and the more I considered turning around and going home.

The only reason I had considered going to this party was to torment Ashton. And as much fun as that sounded and as much as he deserved it, I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't be cruel like that.

No one had seen me yet. If any time was the right time to turn around it was that moment.

I stopped, looked around, and slowly began to turn when someone appeared rounding the corner behind me. Out of fear that it was Ashton, I whipped back around and rushed toward Calum's house before they could see me.

I knew I was at the right house because of the hordes of people gathered on the lawn and street in front of it. I walked through the lawn, stepping over passed out teens and crumpled up cups. The moment I stepped through the door, I was suffocated by a cloud of pot and alcohol. There were so many people in the house that it felt like the walls would explode if anymore came inside. I was shoved and led into the house, not in control of where I was going. I was taken in a loop and somehow ended up with a drink in my hand back where I started by the front door.

I knew Michael's room was upstairs so I searched above the crowd for the stairs and spotted them down a hallway. I took one step when my path was blocked.

A kid that I recognized from school stumbled in front of me and stopped me from getting any further. "Hey new girl," the words fell drunkenly from his mouth. "You look very pretty tonight," he half yelled over the loud music.

I rolled my eyes and tried to push past him, but he reached his arms out and pinned me to the wall.

"Where you going, babe?"

I looked over his shoulder and saw Ashton sitting on the couch with Destiny on his lap. His friends all laughed and Destiny tipped her drink up toward me. My mouth dropped open in shock. Ashton looked up at me and instantly looked like he had seen a ghost. We maintained eye contact for a moment then I turned my attention back to the guy in front of me. I took a swig of the mystery drink in my hand and laughed as if this guy had said the funniest joke I'd ever heard. I brought my hand up to his neck and started playing with his hair.

Ashton stopped. I saw his whole body get tense. Ashton pushed Destiny off of his lap and stood up. My new friend leaned in to whisper something in my ear when a hand reached out and pulled him off of me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Ashton yelled in the kid's face then pushed him to the ground. "Get away from her!" The guy looked up at Ashton scared and scurried away.

"Ashton!" I yelled, genuinely shocked by his violent outburst.

He slowly shifted his gaze to me, "What are you doing here?" I couldn't tell if he was irritated or concerned by my attendance.

"Oh, just trying to make some new friends and move on. Obviously, you're not having any trouble moving on," I smiled and looked over his shoulder to Destiny. It took all the strength I had to keep a straight face.

He paused and let out a long sigh, "Liv..." He reached up to touch my arm and I swatted his hand away.

"No no no, you're fine. You can get drunk and kiss all the girls you want now that you're not trying to trick me into believing that you're a good guy anymore. I don't care what you do with your life, but please, do me a favor and stay out of mine." I pushed him a few steps back.

I heard a collective "ooh" from the small crowd that had gathered around us. I realized how many people were watching us and I hurried away. I kept my composure until Ashton was out of view. I found the staircase and nearly collapsed when I got to the top.

I found my way to Michael's room and collapsed on his bed next to Jo.

"Hey Livia! What's up?" she asked very confused.

"I don't want to talk about it," I mumbled into a pillow.

Jo and Michael shrugged and just continued to chat about whatever they were talking about before I came in.

There was a gross taste in my mouth from whatever I just drank and from that random dude's mouth. But also, from what I said. I feel so bad for what I said to Ashton. I was just really upset at the sight of him and Destiny like that so soon after me and .... whatever it was that we were. I can't believe I've gotten myself in such a mess. It's been a week and I've basically ruined my life already.

I got out my thoughts just long enough to see that Jo and Michael has stopped talking and were both staring at me as a sat on his bed shaking my head.

"You don't want to talk about it, but I need to hear about it," Jo finally broke the silence. "We can kick Michael out."

"Kick Michael out where?" he interjected, "this is my room!"

"Out!" she yelled and pointed to the door.

He sighed. Then he got up out of his chair and walked slowly toward the door.

Jo scooted closer to me. "What happened?" she asked so sweetly.

"I don't know..." I dropped my head into my hands. "Everything sucks and Ashton sucks and I'm an idiot and Ashton is an idiot and Destiny's a jerk and..."

"Ashton's a jerk?" she finished my sentence.

I bit my lip to hold back the tears and nodded. "And I'm a jerk. She was sitting on his lap and they were laughing when I walked in. So, I flirted a random guy and then Ashton tried to kill him so I said some mean things to Ashton and now I feel terrible. He basically saved my life like 72 hours ago and the way he..."

My phone started to buzz in my purse.

New message from Mom:

When are coming home? Please don't be out too late. We need to talk.

"Oh no. My mom is texting me. I need to go home. Ugh, I don't want to go back through that house."

Jo chuckled and hugged me goodbye, "I know you really like him, but it's probably for the best that you get some space."

I got home and my mom was sitting on the couch with Josh and their faces looked weirdly somber.

"Livia, will you sit down with us please? I have to talk to you guys," my mom said with a shaky voice.

I sat down on the other couch hesitantly.

My mom started to talk about David and the move and how terrible she felt for putting us through it all. My head was reeling from all that had been going on already, I was barely paying attention to her.

"I think we should move back home."

My head began to spin. I had only been here five days but it's felt like weeks. I can't just leave now.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this before I did anything about it, but I'm divorcing David and the three of us are going back home. I found a new apartment for us. If you guys are ready, we can leave next weekend."