Broken, Abused and Loved

Violet

I turn my head and glance around my hood to see Demetri still sitting in the same spot i left him, his head down looking at his hands.  I turn back and continue walking. If someone had asked me if i seen myself this way, i would have laughed. I know deep down, that i should leave Eric and be with Demetri. But i just can't find the courage in me to leave Eric. Not now.. not when there might still be a chance that he will change and stop beating me. I have hoped for that for so long. I can't stop now.

I can't begin to describe how it felt to have his hands so close to mine. Not touching, but the warmth seeped down into my hands and to my heart. It was incredible. Yes.. i could love Demetri. It wouldn't be hard at all. I shake my head at the thought.

What would happen to Eric if i did leave?

I look up and stop. Standing at the bottom of the steps and look up at our house. White.. big.. cold..

I look at the door. Red. I shake my head and walk up to open the door. Just as i reach my hand out, it bursts open with Eric standing there.

Suddenly, i find myself wrapped in his arms. I gasp.

"Please don't leave me for him. Please. I'll do anything." He grabs my hair, and pulls it, tilting my head back. Making me look into his eyes.

His lips come crashing down on mine, and i feel like gagging. I try to push him away but he throws me against the wall, and attacks my lips again. I press my hands against his face, and push. He pulls back and looks at me, angrily. He raises his hand to slap me, and i cower away, covering my face.

I hear him sigh, and  he grabs my wrists with his hands, pulling them away from my face.

He stands me up straight and gently lays his hands alongside my face. "Is this what you want?" He whispers. And slowly slides his fingertips down my cheeks. I close my eyes, and Demetri comes to my minds eyes. Imagining him running his fingertips down my face. My eyes pop open, and i jerk my face away from his hands. "No? I guess you did like me better when i beat you?" I look at him from the corner of my eye, his face changes to the way he used to be. When he was angry.

I close my eyes and sigh. That's when the first slap comes around to the back of my head.

"You want me to treat you like a whore? Seeing you with him. I tried to be nice. But it seems you prefer me to be mean." I slide down the floor, my eyes still closed. He picks me up agains and slams me back against the wall, my head bouncing off. I cry out in pain.

"No.. your imagining me as him, right? And you didn't want me to touch you. You prefer him? Right?" I close my eyes tightly and i feel tears escape. "Yes. You do. Well, i mind as well have some fun, right?" I feel him start to beat me. But all i can think about is Demetri. He said he would be there waiting..

In the seconds it took me to realize.. that i should have turned and left when i had the chance, i was already starting to black out. But i fought it. I want out. Your wondering why i changed my mind so fast? I realized it when Erics face transformed to Demetri's in my mind. I understand that sometimes, you just need to let go.. I love Eric. I don't love Demetri. Not yet. But.. he is my friend.. a friend can help another friend, right?

I look up through swollen eyelids and watch Eric walk away from me, spitting on the floor in front of me. "Go ahead and leave me. We'll see what happens." He says on his way out.

I crawl up to my hands and knees. I start coughing and blood covers the floor in front of my face. I will do this..

I place my feet beneath me and stand up, only to stagger back down to the floor. I sigh and try again. I have no idea how i will make it back to the willow tree..

I stand back up, and this time, i stay standing. I stumble my way out the door, catching myself on the frame of the door. I think this is going to be a very hard walk..

I stumble my way down the street, hearing gasps and feeling stares. But i keep going. Walking towards the one person who has offered to help me through this.

I finally see the park, and sigh in relief. Finally.

I start coughing again, and fall to my knees blood spurting on the ground again. I just want to lay down..

So i fall over on my side. The willow tree is visible. I can see Demetri sitting under it.. reading. The sun filtering down through the long vines hanging down. He looks so perfect..

"Demetri..." i whisper..

But just as i whispered his name, his head snapped up. As if he could hear me from so far away. I feel blood running from my mouth, down my cheek to drip on the ground. All i see is Demetri running toward me.. and then.. nothing...