Broken, Abused and Loved

I lay here on my side, my head in my hands. He is standing over me. Laughing. He used to be so sweet. I don't understand what went wrong. We loved each other. We moved in together. And then this happened. I have many scars and bruises. Mostly on my back, legs and chest. I believe there is something else out there. Surely, there is other women out there that have a great life and a great significant other. That's what keeps me going sometimes, knowing there are other hapy people out there. My name is Violet. I am 20. Yes.. you may think that i should have got away from this. That i should leave. It's not easy. As any other abused woman or man will tell you. You love the person abusing you, just as much as you hate them. They are still important to you. And i used to believe it when he said he was sorry, in the beginning. Not anymore. Although, he has stopped saying sorry. Because he isn't. I am his toy, his play thing.

He reaches down and grabs my arm. He stretches it out and i see a knife. He stabs the tip in my arm and pushes it down towards my elbow. I whimper. And he slaps me. "Take it, and shut up." He grabs my other arm, and does the same thing. It's almost time for him to go..

He spits in my face and stands, looking down at me. "Remember, you can't live without me. Your too stupid. No one wants you but me." With that, he leaves.

No, i don't believe him. I am not by any means stupid. I have just tried to leave before. And it just gets worse when he catches me.. So i have stopped and accepted that this is what happens to me.

I slowly sit up, feeling the pains in my back. I look down at my arm and it isn't as bad as i thought it was going to be.

I stand up, slowly, and walk to the bathroom. He has a first aid kit. He always keeps it stocked.. This kinda makes me feel better. Maybe he cares a little bit? Or maybe... it's just so i don't die..

I pour peroxide over my cuts and whimper. This time, there is no slap, and i sigh, watching the bubbles slowly disappear. I take a wet cloth and dab the rest away. I wrap some gauze around it, and then look in the mirror. I could be pretty.. if he allowed me to be.

I have very short hair brown hair, like a boys, cropped short. Brown eyes. I have a few bruises over my cheeks. I wipe my face, where he spit. I turn away and walk to my room. I grab my hoodie and throw it over my head, and pull the hood up to hide my face. I grab my boots and put them on. I am going to my happy place today. I smile the first smile of the day.

I walk to the park, peeking out of the hood, watching people walk by. I take a deep breath and breathe in the fresh air. It feels so nice.

I walk to the Willow tree and sit down, leaning back against it some. Only not so hard. My back is still covered in cuts and burns.

I look around for him.

And there he is. In the same spot as always. Sitting at a picnic table. Sitting on it, would b the right description. His feet sitting on the bench, his elbows resting against his knees.

He has boots on today, with jeans that have holes and rips in them. A black shirt, with a band logo on it. His arms are covered in tattoos. I move up to his face. He has a tattoo on the side of his face. Almost like a tribal tattoo. From temple to jaw. He has red hair, standing out every which way, with a ponytail hanging down his back. I have no idea what color his eyes are. I haven't been that close to him.

He always sits there. Always quiet. Never talking to anyone. I sometimes daydream as to why he is there. Maybe.. he sees me. And wants to watch me like i do him. Or maybe.. he just wants to people watch. Or Relax.

I hear someone scream my name, and my whole body tenses.

He comes stomping towards me. He usully doesn't come to bother me here. It's the only place he lets me go.

He grabs my arm, and yanks me up. I cry out, and he slaps me. "Shut up" he growls in my ear.

"Please don't do this here.." I whisper to him.

"Fine." I peek over at the guy, and he is sitting there watching, along with everyone else. I frown. I hate it when people watch me, with pity in their eyes. I hate it. I glance back at the guy, and this time, Eric catches me and follows my gaze. "Awww, do we have a crush?" He laugh and jerks me around and pulls my hood down, with my back against his chest. He grabs me by my chin and points my face in the other guys direction. "No one likes an ugly bald chick" he growls in my ear. He jerks the hem of my sweater up and shoves his hand down my pants, in front of everyone. "Let me show him how slutty you are" I cry out and tear my gaze away from the other guy. Squeezing my eyes shut.

"Just take me home," I choke out. He laughs loudly. And removes his hand.

"As you wish," he says. And grabs my arm, pulling me toward the car. I glance back and mouth sorry to everyone. I look at the guy, and he looks furious and sad. No one even tried to help me. how well i knew no one would.

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It was awful when we got back. but today was a new day and that was past. Today he gave me cigarette burns around my cuts on my arms. They will get infected if he keeps messing with them. I clean them and wrap more gauze around them. I want to go back to my happy place.. but i am scared people will question me about  what had happened.

I walk there anyways. Wearing the same sweater with my hood up.

I sit against my willow tree and look around. But the guy is not there. I hang my head and listen to the birds sing. I guess i wouldn't come back either, after watching something like that.

I close my eyes and daydream about a happy life.

I hear rustling next to me and jump up.

The guy is sitting to the side of the tree, opening a book.

He looks up at me, and i see his eyes for the first time. They are.. purple...

I start shaking.

"Don't worry, i won't hurt you.." he whispers. I sigh and smile, closing my eyes. His voice..

I nod and sit back down. I look at him. I scribble in the air on my hand.

"I don't have pen or paper.. Can't you just speak to me?" He says, tilting his head to the side.

"Um.. ok.. I am sorry about yesterday.. no one here should have seen that. But you shouldn't be here.. sitting next to me. It will only make it worse for me. And make it bad for you.. He will try to hurt you," I whisper.

"I am not afraid of him. But you are right, it would make it worse on you if he showed up. I just wanted to meet you. Maybe make you smile a little more." He crooks a smile at me. I smile back.

"What is your name?" I whisper.

"Demetri." He says. "What is yours?"

"Violet. It's nice to meet you... i need to go now.." I am scared Eric is going to show up.

"If someone had the power to save you, would you leave?" He asks, while i am starting to walk away.

"I.. don't know.. maybe not.." I look at him and he looks sad. I turn and walk away.