The Broken Song

Chapter Forty-Two

—Isca Avarra, Avarra, Andavaran—

The words were still ringing in her ears. She heard them as clear as the day Lulu screamed at her, as though she was yelling at her still. They dug in further, further, and further still with every breath and beat of her heart. Over and over, they whirled through her mind, expelling every other thought.

Lulu was right. About everything. Ori couldn't deny it. She was a joke, a fraud, a child. She hadn't known the words to say, how to tell someone she loved that their friend, who mattered a great deal to them, wasn't even alive. She hadn't known the words, but she should have said something, anything. But, she had felt so helpless. What was the point of being a savior if she couldn't even keep someone alive for the person she looked up to the most?

A hand on her shoulder startled her, making her visibly jump. She whirled around with wild eyes, trying to determine the source of the threat as she pulled her magic to the surface. But, Alistair's face suddenly came into view, his concerned gaze prompting her to relax. Her shoulders slumped, heart rate decreasing as she lowered her head and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Alistair gathered her hands in his own and tugged her sharply to the left. Her eyes flew open, barely registering that he had pulled her into a small, secluded alcove near the hall to the throne room before his lips descended on hers and her eyes were once more fluttering shut. He kissed her slowly and deeply, allowing her to sink fully into the embrace before he gently pulled away. When he did, he pressed his forehead to hers and held her hands against his chest, over his heart, which was beating rapidly, she noticed. It made her smile softly.

"I've tried to find a thousand opportunities to do that," he laughed quietly. "It's all I could think about since we left Kiverryn behind."

"I didn't realize kissing me was so desirable."

"Not kissing. Seeing you smile."

The words hit her harder than they should have. They were unbelievably sweet, kinder than she deserved. Even after everything, the sorrow she had inflicted, the lives she had been unable to save, Alistair still enjoyed her enough to care to see her smile. It made her lower lip quiver and her hands tremble as she pulled them away.

"I don't deserve your kindness," her voice was soft, head tipped down as she tried to avoid his gaze. But, Alistair curled his fingers beneath her chin, tipping her head back so she couldn't ignore his pointed stare.

"Everything she said was wrong," he spoke with conviction, every word punctuated clearly so to make certain she understood. "You didn't destroy anything. You weren't to blame for any of it. You didn't fail to save anyone. You didn't get the chance. How could it possibly be your fault?"

"With Thancred..."

He shook his head. "No, my lady. You gave Lulu a gift: time to say goodbye. Telling her sooner...I don't know her as well as you, but from what I've seen I'd be willing to bet she would have chosen to keep the Sorceress alive to save him. And, you said it yourself, she was killing the land, not on purpose, but it was happening anyway. How long before it reached the rest of Iskendryn? Avarra? You saved those beyond her reach. You did more than anyone else was capable of."

"But, it's still not enough...It'll never be enough."

Alistair sighed, drawing her closer so she could no longer avoid his gaze. "Stop being so hard on yourself. We achieved what victory we could in Kiverryn. We stopped the threat. There was nothing more we could have done."