Kellin's a sassy College student rooming with Oliver Sykes. Oli is a carefree guy but doesn't exactly want a relationship... Vic is Kellins friend and doesn't seem to approve of Oli.
I sit on my bed quietly. The urge to talk is at zero and I still feel a bit weird from the drugs the hospital gave me. I cant stop looking at my bandaged arm.
I cut myself and had to get stitches.. Oli saved me... I didn't want to be saved but right now I'm not really sure if dying is want I want. Love is what my soul and mind needs.
"Kellin," Oli says and I don't look at him. He walks over and kneels down in front of me as I sit on the edge of my bed. He gently touches my cheek and I look into his eyes. He looks at me with caring and concern in his eyes.
"What do you want, I'll do anything to make you smile," he tells me confidently.
I look at him sadly, he has a boyfriend.. Its not like I can ask for him to love me. "Sing? Cuddle?" I ask nervously. He kisses my forehead as he gets up and we get into my more comfortably.
"Some people are a lot like clouds, you know (Clouds, you know; clouds, you know) 'Cause life's so much brighter when they go You rained on my heart for far too long (Far too long) Couldn't see the thunder for the storm Because I cut my teeth and bit my tongue Till my mouth was dripping blood But I never dished the dirt, just held my breath While you dragged me through the mud I don't know why I tried to save you 'cause I can't save you from yourself When all you give a shit about is everybody else" he sings and I cuddle to him as he sings. He holds my hand and looks at my bandaged arm.
"And you just can't quit, why don't you deal with it? I think it's time to stop
You need a taste of your own medicine 'Cause I'm sick to death of swallowing Watch me take the wheel like you, not feel like you Act like nothing's real like you So, I'm sorry for this It might sting a bit
Some people are a lot like clouds, you know (Clouds, you know; clouds, you know) 'Cause life's so much brighter when they go And I spent too long in a place I don't belong I couldn't see the thunder for the storm
But you won't admit, why don't you get a grip? 'Cause you can't keep going on and on and on and on like this And you just can't quit, why don't you deal with it? I think it's time to stop" is he singing about his ex? He gently starts taking off the bandages. I want to see too but I'm scared it will start to hurt when I see how bad it actually is.
"You need a taste of your own medicine 'Cause I'm sick to death of swallowing Watch me take the wheel like you, not feel like you Act like nothing's real like you So, I'm sorry for this It might sting a bit
'Cause I cut my teeth and bit my tongue Till my mouth was dripping blood But I never dished the dirt, just held my breath While you dragged me through the mud Yeah, I cut my teeth and bit my tongue Till my mouth was dripping blood But I never dished the dirt, just held my breath While you dragged me through the mud
And you just can't quit, why don't you deal with it? I think it's time to stop
You need a taste of your own medicine 'Cause I'm sick to death of swallowing Watch me take the wheel like you, not feel like you Act like nothing's real like you So, I'm sorry for this It might sting a bit Taste of your own medicine (Taste of your own medicine) Yeah, I'm sick to death of swallowing (Sick to death, wow) Watch me take the wheel like you, not feel like you Act like nothing's real like you So, I'm sorry for this It might sting a bit" I look away when it comes off. Slowly I look at my wrist and cringe at how bad it looks. Im going to have a really big scar..
"Some people are a lot like clouds, you know (Clouds, you know; clouds, you know) 'Cause life's so much brighter when they go," he finishes the song and by the cut, carefully so he doesn't hurt me.
I
blush and he kisses my lips lightly and wraps my arm again. "Don't do this ever again," he says and hugs me. I hug back and I hate that I feel loved...
The feeling is fake, he just feels bad for me. Right now I don't care, I just want to be love. He holds me like I'm gold and diamonds.
"Sorry, you get to see the fucked up version of me," I mumble and he kisses the side of my head.
"Who raped you," he blurts out and I look at him shocked. Did I tell him that? I look away and he continues to look at me.
"I was on drugs.. I lied, I've never been r-raped," I mumble and he sighs.
"When I find out who it is I'm going to kill them," He says and I smile. I shouldn't smile at this but if Oli does figure out its Josh then hells going to break lose and I want to hope Oli would protect me.
Will he protect me?
-
Me: do you know josh?
Kailey: no?
Me: okay love you
Kailey: fag
I put my phone down and cuddle up to the sleeping British guy. He tightens his grip on me and I close my eyes as I rest my head on his shoulder.
-
In the morning we wake up from my alarm and he mumbles cuss words as he gets up tiredly. "I hate waking up," he says and I get up and go to my dresser.
"Same.. I just want to lay in bed with you forever," I mumble and he smirks. I take off my shirt And put on a long sleeve black shirt.
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I put on a plaid skirt on and some black knee high socks. I'm done moping around.. Hopefully. I need to be confident and sassy. That's who I am. Not some depressed boy whose suicidal.
I do my makeup and curl my hair a little. Josh can hurt me, that's fine. I accept it but I'm not letting him hurt me mentally...
"You look beautiful," he tells me and I giggle.
"Of course I do," I send him a flirty wink and skip out the room. I'm off to go steal a pop tart from Vic and tell him I'm okay. Then go to my classes for the day.
