Double Bubble Disco Queen

11. 😥😭

Here's a chapter

After about a hour I'm in a onesie getting up from my bed. I'm sore as hell but I need to apologize to vic. Oli looks at me from his bed and I wave him bye. He nods giving me a smile and I'm off to see how Vic is.

I pretty much limp to his room and knock on his door softly. When Awsten opens the door he looks at me and then Vic whose on his bed not looking at us. "Maybe you should leave," he says slowly and I shake my head no.

He let's me in and I go over to my friend and get in his bed. I put my back to his chest and he holds me. As we spoon silently Awsten gets on his bed and sends me a look saying 'you hurt him'.. I know I did but I didn't mean too.

Me and Oli have been fooling around. Vic just decided to kiss me knowing me and Oli fucked. I feel him kiss the back of my head and I cant help but smile a little. Vic is so nice...

I wish I loved him..

Or at least liked him the way he must like me. I like physical stuff with him but I don't think I want to be his boyfriend. No, I want Oli to be my boyfriend.

"Oli seems like your ex.. why are you with him?" Vic says and I know He's not talking about Austin.

"We are just friends... and its different than him.." I mumble.

"Friends with benefits.. that's how-" Vic starts.

"Don't say his name," I say feeling tears brim. I turn around and look at Vic.

"I know I'm stupid, but I like Oli.. I'd rather be friends with benefits than nothing at all," I whisper almost crying.

"What's what you said about him.. you fell in love and he didn't.. don't go through this again," he says and I start crying. He pulls me into a hug and rubs my back.

"Should I leave?" Awsten asks.

"I dont c-care," I mumble and shove my face in vic's chest. Boy's don't cry, stay strong... Nope, I can't. Tears wet Vic's shirt and I hug onto him.

"M-my heart hurts," I mumble feeling lonely. Thinking about my ex makes me feel stupid, lonely, hurt, and naive. We started off friends with benefits and then got into a relationship because I fell in love but he didn't.

I knew that.. He was abusive but I didn't care because I loved him. That fact got me into the hospital a lot. It even got me in a mental hospital for a few weeks. Well he didn't make me go.. it was because I tried to kill myself.

Apparently pills don't always do the job. Neither does trying to hang yourself if your best friend gets there in time. I feel bad vic had to witness me hanging from my ceiling struggling because it didnt kill me and it was just slowly choking me.

"Darling you'll be okay," he says and I just lay there crying for a few hours before falling asleep.

-

When I wake up I get out of Vic's bed. He's sleeping comfortably so I wont wake him. Quietly I sneak out and when I shut the door I lean against it as tears run down my face.

I just want to be good enough.. I want the lonely inside to end. Maybe I should just kill myself. I walk to my room still crying. Its 1am Oli is probably asleep. I unlock the door and walk in and Oli looks at me.

I sniffle and look away and go to my bed. "Why are you crying?" He asks and I ignore him. I get in my bed and burst into more crying.

"Do you regret sex with me?" He asks and I can hear the worry in his voice.

"N-no," I cry and I hear him walk over.

"What did Vic do?" He asks and I feel him sit on the edge of my bed but I stay under my blankets.

"N-nothing," I cry and he sighs.

"Kellin, Tell me why you are crying," he says and I frown even though he cant see my face. I'm not going to tell him that I'm feeling suicidal or that I miss my abusive ex.

"Ex," I mumble and he pulls my blankets off. I curl up more and he touches my hair.

"How about I distract you," he says softly playing with my hair.

"I-im crying I d-dont want sex," I cry shaking.

"No. Love, I mean cuddling and I'll sing to you," he says and I look at him to see him softly smiling at me.

He gets in my bed and I move a little allowing him to be comfortable. He kisses my forehead and I feel my heart stop aching.

"I didn't see it coming
But I never really had much faith
In the universe's magic (Magic), oh, no
Till it pulled us to that time and place
And I'll never forget
When the floodgates opened, we, we cried an ocean
It still has me choking; it's hard to explain
I know you know me, you don't have to show me
I, I feel you're lonely, no need to explain" he sounds so good as he sings softly to me. Why is he being so nice? Friends with benefits dont do this..

"So don't say you love me "Fala amo"
Just let your heart speak up, and I'll know
No amount of words could ever find a way to make sense of this
So I wanna hear your mother tongue
So don't say you love me; "Fala amo"
Just let your heart speak up, and I'll know
No amount of words could ever find a way to make sense of this
So I wanna hear your mother tongue" I cuddle up to him calming down. Why do I feel so happy? Listen you fool.. your falling in love again. Falling in love will kill me. Or maybe its love that will kill me and not really the falling part.

"And yeah, I could be punching
But I always tend to fluctuate
And I feel sick that I'm buzzing, oh, love, I'm in trouble
I'm sorry, but you got me gushing all over the place
I never wanna get wet
But I think we're chosen like our fates were woven
And all of those bad choices were left turns on the way" my heart is acting stupid as I watch him sing to me. He's cheering me up..

"So don't say you love me "Fala amo"
Just let your heart speak up, and I'll know
No amount of words could ever find a way to make sense of this
So I wanna hear your mother tongue
So don't say you love me "Fala amo"
Just let your heart speak up, and I'll know
No amount of words could ever find a way to make sense of this
So I wanna hear your mother tongue

I think best way to explain, it's like (Oh-oh, oh-oh)
Yeah, kinda like that, but little more (Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh)
Yeah, all makes sense right like (Oh-oh, oh-oh)
Like (Oh-oh, oh-oh)
Like (Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh)

So don't say you love me "Fala amo"
Just let your heart speak up, and I'll know
No amount of words could ever find a way to make sense of this
So I wanna hear your mother tongue
So don't say you love me "Fala amo"
Just let your heart speak up, and I'll know
No amount of words could ever find a way to make sense of this
So I wanna hear your mother tongue
So don't say you love me "Fala amo"
Just let your heart speak up, and I'll know
No amount of words could ever find a way to make sense of this
So I wanna hear your mother tongue" he finishes the song and kisses my forehead before cuddling up to me and holding me tightly but gently.

I'm stupid..

Stupid for you I think as I look at Oli

Who do you think kellins Ex is?