SS Kazuraba Yukina: My Humanity

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A special side story written by KRX350!

It was quite easy to see that GEN had a caste system. The new phones they provided us at the start, the school's policy regarding the students' freedom, the massive amount of points given to us in the first month and the assurance that we would be resupplied with the same amount of points each month. If that doesn't scream equivalent exchange, then I don't know what does.

But of course, like any normal human being, the majority of E Class were blinded by the sweet whispers of a luxurious school life instead of thinking of the whydunit. What kind of motive would the school have for giving us all of these luxuries? Nothing they've given us will push us to make ourselves become better people. I suppose this is why the Sin of Greed is considered as one of the Seven Deadly Sins of Man.

But of course, can I even consider myself normal? Even I myself know that I'm a defective student, unlike the teachers and my own classmates who merely "sense" the defectiveness, but decide to ignore it. Hence why the school had decided to put me in Drachma Red, or in other words, the worse class of GEN: E Class.

But on the bright side, I'm in the same class as Yuu-kun. A close friend of mine but... Is it really a good thing that Yuu-kun is in the same class with me? Honestly, I'm still debating whether or not being close to him is a blessing given to me by God or a curse from the Devil.

I sighed softly as I stared at the celling of my room. How much time has passed since I laid on this bed? Minutes? Hours? If I was being honest, I couldn't tell.

I sat up from my bed and went towards the door. I know it was bad for me to go out this late at night. But I needed it... I just can't stand it here, alone in this suffocating atmosphere, with all the burdening memories, everything inside this colourful prison that is my room, and went to the one place that can at least calm me down, despite how clichéd it is.

The rooftop.

I sat at one of the benches that the school prepared at the rooftop before gazing at the beautiful starry night sky.

This has always been able to made me feel relaxed, not because of the location itself, but the scenery. To be precise, the night sky that's filled with hundreds of thousands of twinkling starts. It made remembering the more happier memories much easier.

I slowly closed my eyes as I could still imagine it in my mind. Father, big brother and I cuddling on the sofa in the living room with a blanket covering our form. Underneath the blanket father would read us different books about myths, literature, fairy tales, etc. But most of the time, it would be about the outer space while randomly sprouting facts sometimes, like how the astronomer Nakamura Akimasa named two minor planets after the Kamen Rider series: The 12408 Fujioka after Fujioka Hiroshi, the actor who's known for his portrayal of Hongo Takeshi in the first Kamen Rider and 12796 Kamenrider after the series itself.

Then, mother would suddenly remove the blanket and glare at us, father especially, with a disappointing expression before scolding father as big brother and I went back to our rooms. Of course, father would declare us as traitors while mother continued to scold him, but if we're lucky, then mother would join in on the fun as well.

Ah... How I dearly missed those happy times of the past.

I slowly opened my eyes when I noticed that something was on my face, and went to wipe it. When I did, I finally realised what was on my face...

"Tears...?" I said, my voice was filled with confusion. Did I... Did I cry? When did I even...

"No, no, no, this isn't a right." I muttered, wiping away the rest of my tears. I then stood up from the bench and quickly headed back to my room. I have no right to cry nor do I have the right to mourn the dead.

I was wrong, coming here was a mistake after all. A very huge mistake. It did more harm to me then anything else he could ever do.

When I reached my room, I saw the letter that I would usually receive from him on my door step, but this time it's quite special from the other times I received it. Accompanying the piece of parchment is a rather large bouquet of flowers, but to be precise, they're Red Spider Lilies.

I bent down and picked the two items up before glancing at the letter in my left, knowing what was exactly the contents that lay inside it.

"Looks like another burden is added to me." I mused before my eyes went to bouquet on my right, my mind then drifted to the nickname that Hiden-sensei had given me when we first had his class.

It was Manjushage-chan. When I first heard the nickname myself, I resisted the urge to let out a laugh, a broken and hollow one to be precise. But regardless, I find it was fitting. Very fitting for me, and I'm sure he agrees too. If this bouquet is any indication.

Deep down, a part of me wanted to confess everything to Yuu-kun, my burdens, my feelings, my views of myself but I can't do that even if I wanted too or not, even if I'm his friend or not. Yuu-kun, he... He shouldn't be burdened by my mess. Someone who only brings death and misfortune to everyone that is close to her. Therefore I should only be giving help to others, not receiving it.

I have no such rights. Because I can no longer consider myself as a normal human being. I'm someone who is inhuman. Only normal human beings like the rest of E Class can have those rights.

After all, do I even have any of my humanity inside me left intact? Or has it too, shattered into a million pieces to the point of beyond repair, like my mental state.

What am I actually? An actual living, breathing human being or a soulless human-sized porcelain doll...

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