Chasing Shadows (GIRLXGIRL)

CH.12 : Better

A/N

This chapter has a rape scene, if you are lighthearted please don't read it.
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Finally blew up in my face
Crash and burnt to pieces
You got what you want from me
I gave you what you needed
I was warned but fooled by charm
And you deserve to be alone

_Meghan Trainor

Allison's POV

My heart cut through my rib cage and beat out my chest, I moved to Taylor's drawers and took out shorts and a tshirt whilst she pulled on her jeans and a sports bra. I couldn't think straight, if Josh finds me here what would I say, how would I explain being in Taylor's room past midnight.

"Chase!," Josh knocked on the door. I looked at Taylor and she gave me an apologetic smile.

"We could just tell him the truth...I'm ready," she said holding my hand and pulling me to her, I pulled back.

"I can't hurt him like this Taylor."

"You've already hurt him..."

"Chase," the door flung open.

Shit, we didn't lock it.

I quickly moved away from Taylor as if she had some type of disease. Josh stood motionless, just frozen looking at us.

"I had a nightmare," my voice cut through the ghostly atmosphere, "Taylor was just making sure that I uhh..."

He interrupted, "Those aren't your clothes."

"She was..."

"Shut up Chase," Josh growled shutting Chase up, "I'm not dumb...plus you're wearing those shorts backwards."

I checked myself and realised that I had the front at the back and vice versa. I heard Taylor let out muffled laughs but I ignored her.

"It's not what you think Josh," I said approaching him.

"What do I think?," he moved away from me and shot daggers at Taylor, "You piece of shit!"

A slap echoed inside the room followed by a deadly silence. Josh and Taylor had a staring contest, Taylor's cheek was turning red and developing a handprint, Josh fisted his hands. The way their eyes dug into one another was eerie, it was as if they were having some sort of war using their eyes.

Josh finally spoke, "How long Chase?"

"Two days," I said in place of Taylor.

"Before I came here," Taylor said instead. Josh painfully shut his eyes, gritting his teeth.

He ignored me, "She's the one night stand?"

"I'm not," I replied quickly.

"She is," Taylor said giving me an apologetic look.

"Why are you lying?," Josh's eyes fell on me. He moved a step closer to me and I moved forward to him.

"Josh please listen, I'm not lying I..."

I felt a very painful sting on my cheek, the unexpected force of Josh's hand landing on my face causing me to fall backwards.

"What the fuck Josh!?," Taylor rushed to me and held me in her arms, I peeled away from her and she awarded me with a questioning glance.

"She's lying Josh," I blurted, "She came onto me a few days back. I swear I didn't want to, she ---"

"Allison," Taylor whispered underneath her breath.

Tears welled up in my eyes, "I didn't mean to. I love you and she was just a mistake."

"Allison!," she repeated louder.

"What!?," both Josh and I said in unison.

My heart broke when I saw Taylor's face, for the first time ever I saw pain in her eyes. Her brown eyes were broken and glassy. Then out of the blue, tears fell from her eyes.

"I'm inlove with you Allison, I hate that I'm inlove with you cause apparently you don't give a fuck about that. Josh is never going to treat you like I do. Josh will never love you like I do. Josh is..."

"Shut up and get the fuck out Chase," Josh rudely cut her off. Taylor set her eyes on me for a few agonising seconds and I avoided her gaze.

"Fine," she breathed out before going over to her drawers and taking out a tshirt. Without another single word she moved past me and went out her rooms door.

I breathed in slowly, ashamed to look at Josh. His presence suddenly made me feel scared.

"Am I not good enough for you?," he questioned, "Look at me when I talk to you!"

I met his cold gaze.

"Do you want sex?"

"Josh..."

"I will give you real sex..."

He took a few strides and landed in front of me. His hands fell on my cheeks and he swept them back and forth absentmindedly.

"She's the reason you've been denying me," his other hand roughly pushed me closer to his chest. He then roughly placed his lips on mine, forcing his tongue inside my mouth. I murmured his name, pushing him off of me.

"You still don't fucking want me," he pushed me down on the floor and I winced in pain. He followed me, hovering above me, "I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll forget that bastard of a sister I have."

His hands carelessly lifted up the tshirt I was wearing, pausing ontop of my breasts. He used another hand to lower my shorts and tears fell from my eyes without me even realising it.

"Josh please," I pleaded.

"Shut up!"

"Josh..."

"I said shut the fuck up!"

His lips met mine and I trembled in fright, not sure who this Josh was. He fumbled with his shorts. Unzipping and pulling them down, I closed my eyes awaiting the bitter torment. He spread my legs and I silently wept. Giving up on fighting because I knew I wouldn't be able to. I felt stupid, I felt like maybe I deserved this. Maybe I should have just told the truth and left with Taylor, maybe if I did I wouldn't be in this situation.

"You're not fuckin wet," Josh growled, his fingers grazing my vagina. I felt his penis meet my core and I closed my eyes. I closed my eyes so hard and tried to imagine a different scenario. I closed my eyes and thought of Taylor, her smile, her eyes, the way she talks. I closed my eyes but still felt Josh move inside of me. He grunted, thrust and occasionally his hand would fall on my neck and tightly grasp me, somewhat choking me. It was painful, so deadly painful that my tears fell harder with every thrust and my silent cries started to come out louder. Josh fucked me even harder, both of his hands on each of my thighs pulling me impossibly closer to him.

"J-osh pl-ease"

My pleas fell on deaf ears. Josh kept on hurting me. I prayed, I prayed and wished; hoped that this was all just a nightmare but it wasn't. The agony felt real, the pain was so damn real. He breathed heavily and just as it had started, it stopped. He cried, insanely he began to cry. He abruptly got off of me, wiping his tears off and fixing himself then he looked at me. I waited for him to insult me, to do something else, to kill me just as he had but he did nothing. He just stared at me then left. Left me lying on the cold, pain stricken and dead inside. I folded myself on the floor and cried more. Maybe I deserved this or maybe I deserved better. This Josh was new, I woke a side of him I didn't know, a side that I wasn't inlove with. I cried, wishing that someone could hold me, not just anyone...I just wanted Taylor. But I denied her and tore her apart, I made her cry and karma didn't take long to show her bitchy side. I sobbed, alone, broken and pathetic.