It Was Only A Few Moments | Short Story

It Was Only A Few Moments (3)

Back in high school, my father once told me that if I ever met someone that made me feel like I've known them my whole life, then I should keep them and never let them go because it was what my soul was missing. It was my soulmate, but I had another eight letter word for that.

Bullshit.

There was no such thing as a soulmate. I stopped believing in that stuff years ago when I accepted the fact that there was no one in the world that was made for me. That, not everyone in the world was meant to be with someone. That I was meant to be alone.

Having those thoughts, thinking about it out in the cold December night sitting on the curb, destroyed me. I hated to admit it. I hated to think about it but I couldn't help it. Weddings only reminded me of that.

I heard footsteps approaching me as they crunched in the snow but I only acknowledged the voice.

"Hey, I was looking for you."

I wanted to look over at him as he sat next to me but I didn't want him to see me the way I was. My eyes were wet from crying and my cheeks stained from it as well. I just wiped my face and sniffled.

"You okay?"

I always wondered why we as people asked that question when we already knew the answer. Was it to give the recipient of that question a chance to lie and say that they were okay, so that the person that asked could just go on with their day?

Or was it-

No.

There was no or. The answer was just as simple as that. He didn't care. That's why he asked. I don't think anyone who cared asked that question.

When I looked at him, after I stared at the ground for about ten minutes, he looked at me. I was surprised that he didn't leave me yet. He just sat there quietly with his hand on my back and for some reason, it meant a lot to me.

"You can talk to me if you want. I know we just met, but I'm here to listen and who knows, maybe I could help." He gave me a smile, and it brought me much comfort.

"Thanks." I wanted to tell him, but I wasn't sure if he would've understood me. I didn't want him to think that my reason for crying was stupid but when I looked at him and his smile, it made me forget about all my doubts and uncertainties for a moment and I spoke without thought.

"I guess you could say that I feel a bit left behind. All of my friends, all of five of them, got married to the love of their lives and I've witnessed them all. But attending this wedding was a bit different. I've known Angelica longer than I've known the rest of them and she sits so close to my heart that seeing her get married really made me cry my eyes out with joy but there was, uh, need I say, a hint a jealously.

You see Angelica and I always talked about getting married and talked about our true love and what we dreamt of but what was so weird was that whenever Angelica started falling for a guy or started taking interest in a guy, I did. When I started dating guys, Angelica did.

Whenever she was heartbroken over a guy, I was. We were just so in sync with everything that we made a joke that we would get married around the same time. I really believed that we would but this time when Angelica started to take interest in a guy, I didn't and if I did the feelings weren't reciprocated. When Angelica started dating, I didn't. When Angelica had relationship problems, I didn't. When she got married, I didn't."

I paused for a moment. I felt myself starting to cry and honestly, I didn't care that he was witnessing it. I even felt comfortable enough to bury my face into his chest as he held me tightly.

"I hate to say it but I just feel left behind. That, all of my friends, the only people I feel like I have in this world besides my family, will just forget about me and I'll just become less important to them. I feel like they're all several steps ahead and I'm in the back cheering them on until they're too far to even hear me anymore. Each wedding I go to, reminds me that I'm meant to be alone and I'm the type of person who is just meant to be left behind! Sometimes I just don't think I'm even capable of love. I was made to be alone and it's just a hard fucking pill to swallow."

"I get it. I understand what you're feeling and why you're sad. Maybe not to the true extent in which you are feeling it but I do get it. I also know that you are not wrong for feeling the way you are feeling. You're not wrong for being upset. You're not wrong for feeling a bit jealous. We are human. It's apart of who we are. We want what others have especially when everyone has it."

The combination of his words and his hug made me feel a lot better. It made feel so good actually, that I didn't even want it to stop. I wanted to tell him more of my issues so that he could hold me and talk me down.

Suddenly, I heard the tires to a vehicle roll over the snow and stop near us.

"Are you Ignacio?" The woman asked.

He released me and took his stand. "Yes!" He then looked at me. "You wanna come with? I'm going to go grab some food and then I can take you home if you like." He held his hand out for me to grab.

I looked up at him and smiled as I grabbed his hands that helped me up from the ground. "I would like that actually."