I'm Happy If You're Happy With Yourself

I'm Happy If You're Happy With Yourself (Chapter 11)

The world was a black, spinning void as Tay slowly regained consciousness. Her head was pounding and her vision was blurred but she still somehow managed to pull herself up.

She rubbed her head, she couldn't remember anything but she knew that what had happened wasn't good. She remembered intense pain and then everything had gone black. 

She was in a hospital room, the limp covers that had been thrown over her lay as dead as she would have been had her saviour not got there in time. 

Who the hell had found her?

'They should've just left you,' the voice inside her head taunted, 'You're nothing but a miserable waste of-'

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" She screamed, not caring if anyone could hear her.

"Oh my god, Tay? You're awake!" 

The voice was unexpected and Tay nearly jumped out of her skin as she swivelled round. Alex was sat in a chair in the corner, bags hung under his eyes and he obviously hadn't shaved for days. 

"A-Alex?" Tay stuttered, "What are you doing here?" 

He smiled at her, his eyes full of joy, 

"I was waiting for you to wake up!" 

"Why? How long have I been out?" 

"A couple of days now. You erm, you.." He trailed off, looking down at his feet as if he were trying to hide something.

"What?" 

"You tried to kill yourself, Tay," Alex's eyes filled with tears and she could hear from his voice that he was struggling not to get upset.

Tay's world began to collapse around her. She looked down at her wrist and gasped at the wound that had now been stitched up. Why the hell had she done that? Something good finally happened to her and she threw it all away. But Alex was still here.

"Why did you do it?" He asked, looking her straight in the eye, 

Tay was reduced to tears as she struggled to find the words to tell him, her biggest regret was hurting him. Alex got up from his chair and pulled Tay into an embrace, holding her close to his chest. 

"It's okay," He assured her, wiping the tears from her eyes. He looked down at her wrist which was covered by countless scars, each telling the story of an unwanted memory. He ran his fingers along each one and Tay once again burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry," She sobbed, her head buried into his chest. 

"It's okay, baby," Alex replied, "I'm gonna look after you, I'm gonna make sure you get better so you'll never have to feel like this again." 

At that moment, Tay didn't care about unemployment, self harm or terrible memories. She only cared about now as she sat in Alex's arms. 

"I love you."