unCHANGED |unOrdinary| John x Sera

Chapter 5 | Empty

The Train

Sera PoV

There. I said it.

I sat with my shoulders sagging and I dreaded the moment that I'd have to meet his gaze. I had no idea what to expect from him. I knew John was unpredictable. Dangerous.

With the corner of my eye, I saw the ravenette shift in his seat. He leaned forward, resting his weight on his elbows as his hands were held loosely around each other, but he kept hastily picking at the dry skin around his nails.

"Oh, I see.", John bit his lip.

I let myself breathe. It was going to be OK. I don't actually have to explain-

" I don't mean to pry, but could I ask why?", he continued. His champagne eyes met mine, I could see the hurt in them. He was hurt? Him?! 

"You don't have to answer if you're not comfortable." The ravenette said nervously, waving his hands about.

"Not comfortable?", I scoffed quietly

Something in me broke, like an ocean of emotions that I held within me came flooding out. After so many days, after too many ‘second chances’, the dam shattered.

“How can you expect me to be comfortable?!”, we locked eyes, “How can you expect me to want to date you?! After everything!”

His mouth gaping, John shakily took in a breath. “Sera, I-I never believed you would forgive me for what I have-”

“Then act like it!”, I spat, “All you’ve been doing was putting me and others in harm’s way! And you have the audacity to ‘make it up’ to me!”

John dropped his face into his twitching hands, “I’m sorry, I took a leap. I didn’t think you’d react like this!”

“What  did you think I would say? ‘Oh sure, babe, I’m free this weekend. Hit me up.’ ?! Are you nuts?!!”

“No, Sera!”, his head shot back up as he glared at me, “I just thought I’d treat you to a dinner and hope you’d see me in a different light, ok?”, his eyes glistened, glazed over. But I didn’t care.

“Different light? One has to earn it, not buy it!”, I lowered my voice, “You were supposed to be better. Why did you do that to Arlo?”

“I am better. I restrained myself. As best I could.”,John pressed his lips together, forming a straight line.

“That was restraint? You can’t be serious!”

“Oh, trust me, it was.”

Trust. You really shouldn’t have said that.

“Sure, I’ll trust you. Cuz you such an honest bean.”, I nodded, exaggerating my sarcasm.

“Sera, look, he betrayed me. He deserved-”

“With you it’s all ‘betrayal this’, ‘betrayal that’! What exactly qualifies as betrayal to you? Would you beat me up for bEtRaYiNg you right now?!”

“I would never-”

“You hurt me twice. Once, almost killing me.” I stared him down.

“I’m so sorry. I thought you were over it.”

“You traumatised me you basta*d. I can’t just get over it!”

“Y-you seemed fine.”, he whispered

I laughed, “Did it ever occur to you that I was too scared to show you my true feelings? Or is your head too far up your own ass to notice?”

John kept staring at me, gobbsmacked. He looked like his whole world just crumbled around him. Like everything was a lie. Like he was questioning our entire relationship. How satisfying. 

In that moment I felt drunk on power, not ability, but power over John. I knew I brought him to his knees and broke him. Revenge tasted so sweet. I felt as if I had just solved all of my problems and troubles. Nothing tormented me. I could just enjoy the look on his face.

Possessed by my intoxicating superiority, I aggressively gripped John’s chin and pulled him in for a kiss. But with only millimeters between our parted lips. I stopped and purred, “Karma is a bit*h.” 

I shoved him back, ignoring the tears that stained his cheeks as the train came to a halt. I walked out without turning back. On one hand, I felt so free and strong, but on the other, so... empty.
 
I wasn’t myself.

I apologise for the shorter chapter but I hope you still liked it.

I would also like to notify you guys that I won't be publishing chapters next week and the week after. I'm really sorry but school is school, unfortunately 🤗

Till next time <3