Life with Brothers

Part 5

Previously

Blackness consumes my vision as I close my eyes too tired to keep them open. The last thing I hear is the door slamming open, breaking off the hinges.

.....................

White is all I see as I open my eyes. I instantly close them since it's too bright. Where am I? I slowly open my eyes again letting them adjust to the light.

When they're open enough to see I look around and see Peter asleep next to me. "Hello there. You're awake I see." A overly friendly voice says to me. I turn to see who said it and I see a nurse walking into the room.

"What happened?" I ask confused. "Oh dear, do you not remember? That nice boy next to you brought you in naked? Saying you tried to climb over barbed wire which was obliviously a lie but he's pretty good at lying isn't he?" She says look at the heart monitor and writing things down.

"What?" I ask still confused as my mind is blurry. "Hmm confusion. An obvious result of so much blood lost." She says writing more stuff down.

"I climbed over barbed wire?" I asked still out of it. "No no no honey. Look down at your arm and legs. If been working here long enough to know that that's a result from some very deep cutting and your boy toy over there knows too." She says as she starts to walk out.

"How does he...?" I ask. "Look this is what I think happened. You were in the shower obviously sad for some reason, you found your blade that you've used before and cut yourself but you didn't mean to do it as deep as you did which resulted in you losing too much blood. Then boy toy over there broke down the door and called the ambulance." She said. She then gave a nod and left.

I hear a noise and I look over to Peter to see him stirring. Shit shit shit fuck shit bitch fuck. I quickly hide my arm under the blanket and turn back to him looking at me straight in the eyes.

"Don't do that, M." He says with pity, sadness, and something else I couldn't put my finger on in his voice.

"Do what?" I ask playing dumb. "And stop that aswell. I know you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you hiding your wrist. Why would you do this to yourself?" He says raising his voice.

Anger. That what the other emotion was.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" I say in a small voice but he cuts me off. "You didn't mean to what do you mean didn't mean to? Did you accidentally grab that blade? Did you accidentally cut open your wrist and thighs?" He says still yelling. I deserve this. I deserve to be dead.

I like him yelling at me. It shows he cares. He cares enough to be pissed when I do something stupid like cut myself. I know it's bad but I'm a little addicted and it just takes my mind off the mental pain just for a bit.

"No." I say in my normal voice. "Then what? Tell me how you didn't mean to do this" he says sitting down again. "I did mean to cut but I didn't...... just look at the time." I say with a heavy sigh.

He grabs his phone and looks at the time it reads 5:46am. His face instantly softens. "Oh" he lets out. "M, you could've told me." He says with pity in his voice. Gods I hate pity. I don't need your pity, I feel like shouting at him. So that's what I do. I let out all the emotions I have inside.

"Oh really? I could've told you? I've tried Pete. I've tried so many times I've given up on trying. I tried to reach out and tell you I needed help but you didn't get it! Then I was going to tell you yesterday because so know it would be really hard this year but you then ignored me and I get it. I'm not the most pretty or the smartest or the funniest but you could've at least just told me rather than going around and ignoring me..... you should've left me to die." I say yell but say the last part quietly hoping he wouldn't hear.

"I would never of left you there to die, M. Never. And yes you are. You're the most funny smart and beautiful girl I've ever met and I love you. I'm sorry I can be so oblivious sometimes. I can truly be the worst at times when it comes to understanding things. I didn't want to ignore you but I'm your brothers friend and he's really protective of you. Like really protective. I'm sorry please forgive me, M." He finishes with a tear rolling down his cheek.

"My brother...?" I ask more to myself. He isn't protective of me at least I don't think he is. "I'm sorry." He repeats as he lays his head on my bed.

"No don't be sorry, Pete." I say placing my hand on his head. I start playing with his hair since I know it calms us both down.

"I have everything to be sorry for. Ignoring you, not noticing, not tell ing you i love you sooner and for not getting there sooner." He says facing away from me but I know he's crying and so am I.

"Listen to me right now." I say in a stern voice making him turn to me. "This wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could do to stop me. It was inevitable. So don't go around blaming yourself. I love you and I can't have someone I love talking badly about themselves." I say and I look away as soon as I finish realises what I said.

"I should probably call everyone they're probably worried." I say quickly trying to change the subject. "Oh no you don't have to. No one knows. I didn't think you'd want them to know." He says to me. Wow my soulmate. "Now back onto the 'I love you' part." And with that he leans forward and kisses me.

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Another chapter. Yay!! What do you think will happen next?