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"Have you ever just craved someone? Not in a sexual way. But craved someone whether it was just to hear the sound of their voice, their skin against yours, their lips pressed against yours, or their body, warm against yours." Julian question his best friend, Kai, as he pauses the game to stare at his friend.
"Yeah, you are in love," He declares as Julian cheeks turn bright red.
"No, I'm not," He replies getting up from his couch to get some water.
Kai follows him closely behind. "Yes, you are," He insists making Julian groan.
"I can't be," He denies making his friend confused.
"Why?"
"I often think falling in love is like being stabbed, for more than one reason." Julian starts explaining to his best friend. "See, it is forced upon us without much choice. Plunged into the depths of our soul and we call the pain a blessing because at least something has reached us. Has touched us. At least we feel something. It is fast and violent, too quick for you to realize what is happening until you stagger back and realize what is really going on. You stare at the hilt jutting out of you, mesmerized, terrified because it hurts when it happens," He stops as Kai interrupts him.
"But we are more scared of the pain that will come with the extraction of this thing killing us. We call the removal heartbreak when really our heart was fractured as soon as we were hit, yet we only start to feel it when the blade that was keeping us together, filling the wound is taken back. And we choose the torture that is love every time because we know we can either live with this ache or bleed out alone." He spats and Julian just nods in agreement. "See? That's why we are best friends," He adds making the blonde german smile.
The friends made out after Kai apologized for his reaction and actions later on that day, still, Julian, has asked him to apologize himself to Alena because he knows it would mean a lot to her.
"Nonetheless, I have to go but, Julian, you are in love," Kai repeats winking at the last part making Julian roll his eyes.
"Any advice before you leave?" He hesitates to ask.
Kai nods. "Tell her," He orders while pointing with his finger.
"No, it would be so uncomfortable," He denies rapidly. "I don't know her for so long, she will think that I'm insane." He declares as his friend denies.
"No, Julian, she won't, plus you have no clue how she feels about you either," Kai explains trying to calm down his friend.
"But, Kai, if things go wrong I still have to see her all the time, she lives next door!"
"Julian, she has lived there for over a year and you have never noticed, you can ignore her and she can ignore you," Kai shrugs as Julian sighs. "You are just terrified," He adds.
He doesn't mind being alone, he is a giant inside of these walls. No, he has never met one worth the fall. He is not afraid of love, he is just terrified because it never feels like how they advertise.
Julian is indeed scared, he doesn't want to ruin things with such a beautiful and unique girl. He has surely been around a lot of girls but no one ever compares to her. She is just different in multiple ways but he can't find the words to express his emotions to her. He just spends most nights at home falling in love with the idea of her.
