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Emmaline

"Everything looks incredible!" I gushed to Karen, Manny, and my parents.

The four of them had decorated the house for Jax's birthday party after insisting that I stay in Toronto with the baby so that he could get a solid nap. They'd done a spectacular job. All the decorations were part of a blue and white hockey theme I'd found online, with added Maple Leafs' items to tie it to Mike's team. There were banners, streamers, and balloons in every room on the main floor. Mike's team t-shirts and jerseys hung by clothespins clipped on twine that was swagged across the walls. I had several of these saved for Jax for when he was older, and Jordyn donated hers to complete the collection. It felt so good to have things of his at the party.

In addition to the festive decor, there was an array of hockey themed food. On the kitchen table there was a large fake Stanley Cup surrounded by snacks. There were mini round sandwiches made on pumpernickel bread and chocolate covered Oreos that both looked like hockey pucks. Large pretzel rods were in a glass labeled 'hockey sticks' surrounded by several dips served in maple leaf shaped bowls. There were also foods traditionally served at the Scotiabank Arena like hot dogs and sausage sandwiches, popcorn, and warm soft pretzels with beer cheese. A crudités platter was included so that there was one healthy option. The kitchen island held the Maple Leafs cake that I'd commissioned from a Toronto bakery called For the Love of Cake. It had turned out prettier than I'd imagined with subtle ombré coloring on the side and blue piping along the top edge.

Manny held Jax while Aaliyah played her mom at air hockey. He had borrowed a full sized game table from a friend and it took up most of the living room. Since my son was happily occupied, I helped my mom and dad arrange drinks near the sink. There was a punch bowl filled with light blue tropical punch to mimic the color of the ice in a rink, and I got myself a glass and leaned against the counter.

"How are you doing?" my mom asked cautiously.

"Better than I was last month, that's for sure," I said after taking a sip of my drink.

"And you're okay with seeing Shawn?"

"It won't be easy, but I'll be fine. Today is all about Jax, so that's where my focus will be."

She gave me a quick hug before going out to the garage to get another bag of ice.

"I know this party isn't just hard because Shawn's coming," my dad said. "Mike's a big part of this day. It's amazing to be honoring him this way, but it's a little bittersweet."

I nodded. "Yes, it is."

When I'd pulled one of Mike's favorite Maple Leafs t-shirts out of Jax's closet, where I'd put a bunch of his daddy's belongings, I could still smell his cologne. Tears had welled up in my eyes, but then I'd smiled. Jordyn had raided Mike's closet before his mother could, and all the items she'd given me for Jax had been hanging up, though apparently Mike hadn't washed them. That was so typical of him, but now I was thankful that his scent lingered.

Around 2:00, guests started to arrive. I'd invited several people from the Leafs' coaching staff along with the players Mike had been closest to. The team hadn't made the playoffs this year, so they were all available. Pam and her partner, Susan, came, as did several members of Shawn's extended family that I'd grown close to. Of course Aunt Jordyn and future-Uncle Brian were in attendance. Olivia was not invited. Jax and I had resumed visits since I'd moved back to Toronto, but that woman would never be my friend.

By 3:00 the party was hopping, or at least as hopping as a 1st birthday party could be. Some people were sitting outside on the patio since it was a beautiful warm spring day. There was a crowd gathered around the air hockey table and an impromptu tournament had been established. Karen managed to cream several of Mike's teammates and was being heralded as the biggest threat. Jax was on the floor in the family room playing with some toys with Aaliyah and some of the player's kids, and I was in the kitchen with Jordy and Brian.

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