Jikook One Shots

Short Story 11: You aren't mine

I'm kinda in one of those moods.

Jimin pov

"I love you and only you" I look at those words.. The words I was told so many times. The words I felt so relieved to hear before it happened. Before the love turned to hate and I couldn't do anything but let it happen. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop the blade I was looking at with such determination, with such need to feel the pain come to me. Something to destract me from the feeling of FEELING. Your not mine.
You loved me. You held me when my depression was too dark for me to see. You were my eyes to see through the dark and bring back the light. You reached forward and was guarding my heart with such protection. With such love and care that I didn't notice the girl behind you. The girl who had the things that you loved. She had the curves. The curly hair and beautiful brown eyes while I was behind you as another that you were attracted to as well but you loved both. You weren't mine.
I look at the bleach in my hand. Its stupid. Wanting to kill myself with bleach of all things.. But I can't help it.
I gave you another chance when you chose me again.. You were mine-
But you didn't realize that the depression that was fading came back at full force and was shoving my insecurities into my head, shoving it down my throat and choking on it.
When you did, you said you couldn't help me and my eyes became dark, the bleeding continued where the skin was together on my wrists was now torn.
It felt like you werent mine.
We broke up and I cried for days upon days, feeling the constant pain in my heart, the throbbing and the feeling of my heart because even though you hurt me. My heart was beating for you and with you gone, my heart lost the source of living.
But then you came back and said those words to me again.
"I love you and only you"

The problem is.
You aren't mine.