Jikook One Shots

Short Story 6: Sadness (read please)

Jimin pov

What did I do?
Am I not good enough
Did I not satisfy you
I put my love, my heart, soul.. My being into this relationship we had.. As if it was the only reason why I woke up everyday.
Sadly.. Thats the thing.
It was the only reason.
You told me you loved me and you promised me over and over again that you would never hurt me so I gave you my heart to hold in the palm of your hand.
You broke it when you cheated on me. Like never once did it cross your mind that maybe.. It would have killed me and It could have.
I cut that day, I thought about the times you kept taking forever to answer, I remembered the times when you kept saying that you only loved me.
When you were saying I love you to me. You were looking at him with the same loving eyes, smile.. Everything that I thought was only for me.
But I fucking begged you to stay as you looked at me with sadness, trying to explain why you did it.. Saying that you didnt deserve me but I was naïve.
I begged for you to stay as tears rolled down my cheeks, as the knife I once had was long forgotten on the table. Blood running down my arm.
I looked at you and said "Please Please Please dont leave! I need you! I fucking love you"
I looked at you with pain, as if letting you go could make me end it all...
I was naïve.
You promised to never lie to me.
You promised to love me.
You promised to never hurt me and what do you do?
You fucking break me even more but I continued to give you chances.. I continued to love you because I thought that things would be better.
We kept arguing over stupid shit. I missed you because you were constantly at work and you never had to time to spend time with me.
You never once told me you were unhappy.. You never once said that you didnt want me anymore.
Never did you..
The day we were no longer accepted, we broke up.
You told me.. That you would wait for me that I was the only one for you and I fucking cried.. Knowing that someone I loved was no longer mine.
But I waited for you as well.. I stayed strong for you because I thought I had your love.
You had my heart that was chipped, cracked and bleeding but still pounding with love for you as you held it between your hands..
But then one day.. You text me, telling me to move on but.. I said I wouldnt because I loved you. Because I wanted you.
As days went by, I continued to wait and I honestly just wanted you to hold me and tell me that no matter what, you would always be here but.. It didnt last..
"I dont love you anymore" you texted me.. I cried and I yelled "Say it to my face! Say that you dont love me"
But you couldnt because you did still love me but.. You said you were trying to move on like how I felt was nothing to you..

I was nothing to you.

You told me the other day that you no longer wanted me.
I held my chest as I cried, I cried so long and hard that I felt the shattering of my heart. The one you held, the one you promised to protect.
I lie here.. With the pain lingering in my chest as I think about it.. As I think my thoughts. As I hold onto my pillow and crying as my throat closes up.
My heart hurts
My head hurts and my stomach..
Is this how a heartbreak feels like? Because the heart you held for 2 years is no longer pounding.
Its shattered because the one I loved more than anything threw it and walked away. Never to be seen again.

I look down at my arm ad tears continue to trail down my cheeks.
I see the red substance drip from the opened wounds, as red as my anger.. As red as the color itself. That you loved on me..
I keep thinking to myself as I look out the window..

Does red look good on me now?
Do I have to change my entire being to get you to love me.. to get you to stay..

You make me feel like I'm nothing and now..

I believe I am nothing.