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eleven

"what have i done?"

she wants to scream, but she knows she can't. it's all she can do is to try not to cry and keeps breathing.

there are beads of sweats dripping down on her back, yeoreum isn't sure if it is due to the heat of the room since the air conditioning is operating in such a low temperature,

or maybe, it's because of the formidable thumps of her heart slamming against her chest.

yeoreum looks back at her phone screen, reading the text messages that she shares with seungyoun, over and over again. her heart seems to be freezing, burning and squeezing, all at the same time.

having flashbacks on how they both talked to each other, he barging in her chatroom and then they texted like there's no tomorrow. she didn't even care about not knowing "woodz" is. she only cares about how the boy sends her sweet and thoughtful messages, just like what a closed friend does.

but, when the truth is revealed, she feels like the situation began to turn upside down.

"yeoreum? is anything going wrong?"

haerin's sudden question brings her thoughts back to reality. she diverts her eyes to her best friend, and haerin can already seen the sorrow and restrained gaze clouding her pupils.

yeoreum breaks the news. "it's really him. woodz is seungyoun. it's cho seungyoun."

haerin is clueless in how to react because she already knows the truth. if she pretends to act to be as surprised as yeoreum is, yeoreum will definitely throw some hands at her, not if she found out that haerin already knew about the fact that woodz and seungyoun are the same person.

before even haerin can respond anything, yeoreum speaks again. "he even confessed to me."

"what?!"

this time, the inconceivable look in haerin's eyes is real, not a pretentious or even a fake one.

"yeoreum.... that's enthralling! your bias likes you back! and you even texted with him and now he confessed to you and-"

"haerin, do you know how it feels like to be dating a public figure like seungyoun? you know that those kind of relationship doesn't always work, especially when it's between a celebrity and a fan!"

haerin notices that yeoreum is at the verge of crying that she will burst out tears any seconds from now, so she immediately marches off to yeoreum, takes a seat on the bed beside her and softly pats yeoreum's back.

"i think you should talk to him about it."

yeoreum covers her face with both of her palms. "i don't think he would want to do that,"

"why?"

"i told him i need space. which means we will stop texting each other for awhile."

"gosh, yeoreum!" haerin scoffs upon hearing to yeoreum's answer. "this is such a bold move! why did you do that? what if he's upset with your choice? what if he doesn't-"

yeoreum cuts her with a hurted whine, anxiety overtakes her face. "what am i supposed to do, hm? i'm not ready for this yet. my past relationship didn't end very well and what do you think i'm gonna expect after all of that happened?"

haerin has to accept the fact that yeoreum is still traumatised by her failed relationship, but until what time yeoreum has to hold back from it? some people go through hardships in the past and so do yeoreum, but staying in the lane won't do any help, especially when it comes to your future.

everyone needs an other half. someone to spend for the rest of their entire life with. someone that you can share you goods and bads, likes and dislikes, love and hate. someone that you can show your different, multiple sides, the one who's comfortable with your duality.

and haerin is pretty sure that yeoreum has found one for her. the truly-deserved one.

but if the doubtful conceptions still devour her, haerin cannot help but only to pray for her best with seungyoun.

© younreumie