October to October

{Chapter Thirty-Four}

     It was late September, and Lauren moved into the brick house with Monroe and Ruth. It was a beautiful place, and they were busy decorating their own spaces. They spent a weekend going to thrift shops and antique stores to pick out unique pieces for the combined living space downstairs that they called the 'common area.' 

    Monroe and Ruth enjoyed the weekend shopping, but it had been painful for Lauren. Every single day was just another step away from Joan, and the street where she wanted every single second with Joan, Henry, Wren and all of their other friends. 

   Lauren knew the apartment situation wasn't forever, but it was like she was leaving Joan behind even though they still spent a lot of time together. Sometimes Joan would sneak into the house to stay the night even though Lauren knew neither of them would have an issue with Joan staying over, but they didn't want to rouse suspicions.

  Joan was unbelievably patient with Lauren. She never pressured Lauren to tell anyone, but Lauren knew that her girlfriend wanted them to be out in the open. She could see it in Joan's eyes when they were in public together and couldn't hold hands or act as if they were anything but good friends. 

  They were in love though, and it was hard to hide something so wonderful. Joan never said a word. She said it was all up to Lauren, and she was going by Lauren's schedule. Lauren was grateful. She wasn't ready yet.

  The couple didn't see each other as often as they would like now that Lauren moved into a place close to campus, but they still made time for one another, and they talked on the phone more than Lauren had her entire teenage years. It felt like a divide though, and Lauren was willing to fight fiercely to close it. She took less hours at the Antique Button, and she even skipped a few classes, but it was worth it.

  "I have to go to work," Joan said regretfully one September morning as they laid on the floor of Lauren's still slightly bare bedroom; her new mattress set was being delivered later that day. They made a bed of blankets on the floor instead and made love in the early morning hours after Monroe and Ruth had gone off to work and class.

  "No, stay," Lauren pleaded as she hugged her girlfriends bare, freckle covered stomach. She kissed the soft skin as Joan's hand threaded through Lauren's red locks.

  "I have to actually make money so as enticing as you are," Joan said as she continued to lay there and look at the paint chipped ceiling above them that they were debating on painting. Lauren thought it was beautiful the way it was, but Ruth said it was an eye sore.

    They cuddled for a while more, but Joan's alarm on her phone kept going off so they finally had to admit the morning was over. They dressed in silence in the bedroom with big bay windows that Joan said she was incredibly envious of. It was a beautiful place, but Lauren didn't care. She didn't want to be there. She wanted to be back in Joan's little attic tower. 

  She reached to wipe a smudge of lip gloss on Joan's cheek, and her finger lingered on her girlfriend's face. She looked so confident and peaceful even though emotions and fears were churning daily in Lauren's stomach. She wondered how Joan did it. Was she just good at hiding her fears, or did she really believe in them so much that this new development didn't terrify her like it did Lauren?

  "Everything is going to be okay," Joan said suddenly. 

   She gently pulled Lauren's hand away from her face and then leaned in to kiss Lauren on the lips; a brief airy touch. Lauren pressed in harder. She liked strong kisses. She wrapped her arms around Joan's waist and pulled her tightly against her. She had never felt so possessive of someone before. She'd never known that side of her, but with Joan it came out.