October to October

{Chapter Thirteen}

   "I feel like we haven't seen one another in ages," Jake said as he wrapped his arms around Lauren's waist as they met up before the Youth Fest. They planned to drive together even though Lauren wasn't sure why. It was only a few blocks away from her house. She would rather walk, but she hadn't seen Jake for a week. 

  He was busy working, and she was busy with school and hanging out with Joan. They were painting an upstairs room for Joan's library, but first they had to clear out the room. It seemed to have once been used for storage by the previous owner. It was filled to the brim with junk including tons of old Christmas decorations and broken appliances. They found an ancient looking television set that stood on claw like legs that Joan had fallen in love with which was now sitting in her living room even though it didn't work. Now the girls were trying to decide what color the library should be.

  "Well, we've both been busy," Lauren said lightly as he buried his face in her hair.

  "We need to make more time," he said as he ran his hands down her hips. She hoped her mother didn't walk into the living room and see them. She was in the kitchen. "I really, really miss you."

   She had also been avoiding spending time alone together. She suspected Jake was going to push for them to take their relationship to another level. 

  She had a conversation with Joan about it the previous day;  Lauren explained that she wasn't ready to have sex even though she knew it was ridiculous to be scared at her age.

  "No it isn't. You move at your own pace," Joan said. "Aren't you guys supposed to wait until you're married anyway? I thought you said you believed in that?"

   "Both Jake and I do, but he seems to forget that when we're alone together. I told Wren about it once, and she told me I should avoid being alone with him in rooms where you can lie down."

  "She should know," Joan said; smirking.

  "Don't say things like that!" Lauren said; laughing and slapped Joan on the leg. "I think the biggest problem with me it's not really about my faith. It's mostly just fear. I really don't want to. Like aren't you supposed to be really tempted and think about it all the time? I don't though. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me."

  "Maybe you just aren't attracted to him?"

  "I've never felt that about anyone," Lauren said honestly as they sat in the newly cleaned out, but still dusty room that was going to be Joan's library. They were sitting on the floor, and they were exhausted and itchy from moving out the dusty boxes.

  "Well, not everyone does feel that way about sex, and sometimes people are just late bloomers," Joan said with a shrug. "Some people are never interested, and that's okay too. We're all different. I only started dating people a few years ago. I was too shy before. All I did before was write really dirty fanfiction."

  Lauren grinned. "What kind of fanfic?"

  "Oh all kinds, and between all kinds of different people, but then my Mom found some of it, and she put me into therapy," Joan said; snickering at the memory. "I guess she thought it was weird a thirteen year old girl was writing about her favorite TV characters getting it on. I didn't really even know how sex worked outside of movies and random books I got out of the library about sexuality 'cause my family never, ever talked about it. My Mom didn't even give me the talk about periods or puberty."

   "So basically you were taught to be ashamed of your body?" Lauren asked.

  "Basically. I think that might have had something to do my late start, but people mature differently too. I was interested in sex, but I wasn't ready for it to actually involve me and someone else."