With Love, Comes the Pain

Shinsou

Shinsou was scared.

That was an understatement.

It was dark everywhere. There wasn't a hint of light anywhere he could see.

He remembered his body refusing to listen to him. He remembered Midoriya seeing him with the strange man. He remembered his older brother yelling his name, as he lunged at them.

He remembered his vision turning black.

He shifted uncomfortably. He could feel the cool chains around his wrist, clanking against each other with every movement he made. The eerie clanking resonated throughout the room, echoing around.

Why was it so dark?

Shinsou clutched the small, cool, metal feather that hung on a chain around his neck. Midoriya had given it to him when they celebrated their birthdays on the day right smack between both their birthdays, a few days after he was locked in the closet. He remembered Midoriya hunched over his desk, calmly telling him to sleep as he held a small penknife in one hand and a kitchen lighter in his other.

"Feathers come from birds. They aren't weighed down by the laws of gravity. We'll find our place, our freedom in this world full of discrimination one day. You're allowed to fly higher than other people. Don't ever let other people weigh you down, and don't ever give up hope, Toshi. I said I'll save you whenever something happens. If I don't come immediately, I'll get there eventually. I'll always be with you, Toshi, no matter where you are."

Midoriya had said, when he carefully clasped the metal chain around Shinsou's neck. It was light. Shinsou liked how it glinted in the light. He always kept it hidden under his shirt when he went to school, scared that the other kids might take it. He always liked the feel of the cool metal pressing against his chest when he attempts to curl up in a ball in a corner of the preschool room to stay as far away from the other kids as possible. It was comforting.

This time, it was no different. The cool metal of the feather and the necklace felt different from the restricting chains that were wrapped around his wrists. He tried to relax his breathing.

Izu will come for me. I just have to wait.

But he knew it wouldn't be so simple. He knew Midoriya was just a teenager. A kid forced to grow up way too fast. He knew that he wasn't dealing with bullies, or biased teachers. These people knew what they were doing. They killed people. He saw him kill someone. They were villains.

He knew it wouldn't be as simple as the time that he was locked in the dark, foreboding metal closet.

He wanted to get out. He wanted to go home, to the only person on the entire planet that cared about him and loved him.

He remembered Midoriya's expression as he lunged at them. His eyes were full of anger, desperation, guilt, sadness, worry.

And fear.

Fear wasn't an expression he saw on Midoriya's face often. He had seen it when Midoriya rescued him from the cupboard. He saw it whenever Midoriya came to school, and saw him hiding in a corner when there was another kid and their parent. But that feeling of fear in Midoriya's eyes, it was a thousand times more potent that Shinsou had ever seen him before.

He curled in on himself. The metal feather was pressed against his skin, and he tried to steady his breathing.

Izu will come for me. Maybe not now, but he'll save me.

-----------------------------------------

It hurt. A lot.

Shinsou didn't know when was the last time it stopped hurting.