Because, Its Halal - muslim Romance #Wattys 2015#YourStoryIndia

Chapter 15 -The Roller coster Ride

Allah saw your situation coming long before you did. Relax, Its still in control.

Roller coster with Ups and Downs.

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The situation had become much worse than I had imagined.As soon as those words made their way out of my mouth I see everyone look at me in horror,like I committed a crime, a big one.

Dad opened his mouth to say something but kept quite. Yusuf just looked at me blankly, like he did not understand what was going on. Mum looked at me and then at dad and repeated the same thing quite a few times.

I dint even know how I said it, Well I knew Omar stayed in London but I dint mean to say it the way it came out.

It just happened in a fraction of second, like involuntaryly, I did not even think before I said it and I did regret it.

Will this decrease my chances of going to Oxford I thought to myself.

Dad broke my chain of thoughts.

"Ayaat, do you even know what you just said?" My dad asked very seriously.

"It..it just sounds wrong, I dint mean to phrase it that way..I just meant to say that Ahmed uncle also stay's in London, so may be you could talk to him if you are not comfortable to send me there" I say making sure every word was right before telling it.

Ahmed uncle was dad's friend and our old neighbour and Omar's father. Thats how Omar and I had become friends in the first place, But then they shifted to London and things changed.

"I am not in contact with him, and there is no question of sending you there Ayaat, you know we cant send you, and for how long will you be staying there if you went?" He asked and I saw my dreams getting shattered.

"A year or so" I say softly with my head down, dad does'nt say anything but mum does.

"Ayaat, a year? How will you live there without us? Alone?" She says surprised.

This was the thought I was worried about too. I'd never been alone before, even if we went out I'd always have someone with me.

"You promissed, you'd give me what ever I want" I say as though I was crying..I was getting stubborn.

"Ayaat Go back to your room, I dont want anymore discussion's regarding this matter now, and I want you to rethink about letter and realise that its not worth it" he says and walks back to his room, everybody does the same and I was left alone standing in the room with just me and my shattered dreams.

I break down, I begin to cry.

I wanted this so bad, I wanted to go to Oxford and study, make myself and my family proud.

I get up and start walking towards my room, I get in and sit on the bed I close my eyes.I rethink about the letter and the  scholarship.

I lay down on the bed staring at the fan on the ceiling.

Is it really worth it? Leaving my parents alone for a year and going to a country I know nothing much about for a degree I might not even use in future?

I wasn't leaving my parents alone..I was going to be left alone if I went there.

Did I really want this, I ask myself.

Now I was having 2 minds about going. Earlier I was sure I wanted to go and study there but rethinking about it got me some more troubles.

My head began to hurt so I close my eyes and try to fall asleep. I wake up only the next morning for fajr, I pray and go back to sleep with much difficulty.