Just By Chance

28. The Blow Up

Forth stood alone in one of his secret spots. He used to come here a lot his freshman year. He found it one time when all the pageant stuff was overwhelming him. Since then, it had been his and his alone. Or so he thought.

He stood, looking off into the distance, smoking a cigarette. He knew smoking was bad for him, but Forth was more of a stress smoker. And right now, he was stressed. He heard footsteps approaching behind him but he didn't turn around.

"Hey, Forth." It was Chris. "I heard what happened." He came and stood beside him.

"I'm sure you did." Forth said flatly, blowing smoke out through his nostrils.

"I've been looking for you."

"Why?"

"Oat wants to talk to you."

"I don't give a fuck."

"Come on, Forth. It's almost been a week since it happened. We are your friends."

Forth turned on Chris quickly, tossing his cigarette out to the side. "Are you, Chris? Do friends make you look like a fool in front of the person you like? Do friends constantly badger you about your love and sex life even when you tell them repeatedly to leave you alone? Do friends chase away the one person you actually want to be with?"

"....." Chris knew he was angry but he didn't think he would still be this angry.

"Yall aren't my friends. Yall are a bunch of idiots." Forth stepped back and turned away.

"Right, as if we're the only ones responsible." Chris said sarcastically. This time he was the one to step forward. "You have just as much responsibility as we have. You didn't have to go through with it."

And he was right. Thinking back on it now, peer pressure or not, Forth didn't have to open his mouth and ask Beam out. He could have waited and asked him out on his own time. He was already falling for Beam at the time anyway. But he still felt like his friends were just as much to blame as he was.

"It was just a joke, Forth."

"But why is my life such a joke to you all, huh??" Forth exploded. "Why can't all of you just leave me alone? Why does it matter so much to you who I do and don't spend my time with? Are you trying to actually watch me get busy with a bunch of different women? Is that what turns you on, Chris?" Forth fired at him.

Had it been anyone else, Chris would not have allowed them to talk to him like this. But this was Forth, and he had a right to be upset even if some of it was his fault too. Chris knew their friends could be a bit dense sometimes, with Oat being the densest and most annoying of them all. In truth, he never understood why the rest of them constantly tried to hook Forth up with people either. They must have truly believed that Forth was depressed and would die alone.

"So you really like him, then." Chris stated, looking at Forth seriously. Forth turned away again.

"Yes." Forth answered after a brief pause, and Chris could hear all the conflicting emotions in his voice.

"Have you spoken to him since then?"

"Once. He won't speak to me. I made him look like an easy fool." Forth said in his flat voice again.

They stood silently for a moment before Forth spoke again.

"I messed this all up." He shook his head. Chris put his hand on Forth's shoulder.

"I can't tell you what to say to Beam. All I can say is give it time. If he likes you as much as you like him then maybe it'll work itself out. But I also think you should talk to Oat again too. Avoiding all of us won't fix anything."