Happy Anniversary.

21. Just The Way I'm Not.

His hands completely hidden behind my body, Jack rubbed my back softly, trying his best to comfort me. He felt the heat of tension radiating off my body in heavy waves.

"I-I-" I tried to get the words to squeeze out of my mouth, but they were stuck deep in my throat. Mom, dad, I have a boyfriend. Thinking the words wasn't a problem. Finding a way to say it to my parents was the hard part. I'd never asked them their opinion on gay people, but judging by their faces now, it wasn't something they were 100% for.

"You're gay?" My father offered. Staring at the ground, I nodded. My eyes burned with unshed tears, and blinking them back hurt even more. I was just giving my parents another reason to hate me.

My mom scoffed. "Doubt it."

"W-What?" I asked softly, trying to hide the quiver in my voice.

"It's probably a phase, if that. How long have you been 'gay', Alexander? Because this is the first I've heard of it. I bet it happened not too long ago, maybe...just after Halloween?"

I was still confused. "Why would I 'turn' gay then?"

"You realized you wouldn't get attention from us for your little attempt, so now you're adding on something else, right? You just want the attention, I know it." She sneered.

She had to be going crazy; her logic was barely making sense to me. Her ignorance was pulling on my insides, and I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "Mom," I started slowly and calmly, like I was talking to a child. "I like Jack. I really like Jack. I'm happy being with him. Have you ever thought that I didn't tell you about this because I knew this would happen? You would blame me for something I can't control? Don't you know how much that hurts me? How much it hurts that my own parents won't accept me for who I am? You treat me like I'm some 5 year old who doesn't do anything right!" My voice kept rising, so I took a deep breath and lowered my voice again. If I started yelling, I would lose her. "I understand more than you think. Maybe you would get me more if you actually took the time to speak to me; even once a day would be nice. I feel like you guys hate me and want nothing to do with me! Honestly, when I feel like that 24/7, can you blame me for trying to find someone who really cares about me?"

Wiping the tears from my face as I watched them digest what I had said, I couldn't see a significant change in their expressions, which terrified me. For the first time ever, I tried to stand up for myself in front of my parents. I needed them to understand. Jack rubbed my back in the quiet room. I had almost forgotten he was right behind me. "I'm so proud of you, love." Jack whispered. "I know that was tough for you, but you're so strong for finally speaking up about your needs. They needed to hear it from you, whether they realize it now or later."

I didn't respond verbally, but my muscles relaxed against his hand as an acknowledgment that I had heard him. I was almost nervous to move my body too much while my parents discussed their "problem child", let alone speak.

A minute passed where I stood frozen, eyes locked on my family. The minute soon turned into five, then ten. After nearly fifteen minutes of hushed whispers and sideways glances toward me and my boyfriend, they faced us fully. I cringed, waiting for the verdict.

"Well," my father started. "We're not quite sure what to do with you, Alexander."

My heart deflated. What if they wouldn't let me see Jack anymore? Sweat pooled at the back of my neck just by thinking of it. He saved my life; and at the moment, I wasn't sure if it would stay intact if he left me. My heart was so fragile right now. If Jack were to walk away and stop trying to repair it, it would shatter and rot. "What do you mean?" I asked carefully.

My mom spoke up. "He means we need some time to process what you've said. We can talk about this in the morning. It's been a long day for all of us. However, because you've kept your...boyfriend...a secret from us, that can't go unpunished. You are not allowed to see him anymore for the time being, until we tell you otherwise."