Happy Anniversary.

2. Too Much.

My alarm broke me out of my barely-asleep state as the sun was rising the next morning. Slowly, I turned it off and got up, stretching and cracking my joints. Looking up at the ceiling, I groaned. Could I just never go to school again?

It wasn't necessarily that I didn't like school, it was more that I hated the people there. Rian and Vic were cool, but I wasn't feeling like talking to anyone today, not even them. They knew what yesterday was. Everyone knew what yesterday was, and that terrified me. It made me want nothing more than to curl up in my bed and sleep forever. But I think my parents would kill me if I missed another day of school. The school had already contacted them about my...habit of skipping class on multiple occasions.

Rolling out of bed, my feet padded across the soft blue carpet floor of my room. Pushing my bathroom door open, I stripped, took of the gauze from last night and hopped in the shower. Thank goodness, none of my cuts got infected. That had happened once before and it was not an experience I wanted to repeat. From there, it was choosing my clothes - black skinny jeans, Nirvanna hoodie, black beanie, and yellow vans - and rebandaging my now cleaned cuts. I ran back to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I hated that there was a mirror attached to the wall above my mirror. I was so trapped that I couldn't even do something as simple as brush my teeth without being ridiculed by my own mind.

Disgusting.

Fag.

Emo.

Fat.

Ugly.

Not good enough.

Even if I didn't hear these in my own mind, I would hear them at school anyways. Statistics say that bullying is the worst in grades 5-8. Yet here I was, a junior in high school, and I got bullied more than anyone I knew, younger and older alike. I never got physically bullied, but somehow, that was worse. I knew how to deal with physical wounds, and they faded much faster than mental wounds.

Finally ready to go, I ran downstairs, passing the kitchen without a second glance. Don't you dare eat, fattie.

I wouldn't dream of it.

The chilling mid-October morning air had me shivering. It sucked that Rian lived on the other side of town, so he couldn't pick me up and I was stuck walking. I would probably ask Vic, considering we were neighbors, but...it just wouldn't end well. Pulling the sleeves on my hoodie and clenching them in my hands, I continued the trek to school, thankful it was only a twenty minute walk, fifteen if I hauled ass. Pulling my iPhone from my back pocket, I went through my music until I found my favorite album, Deja Entendu by Brand New and putting it on shuffle. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot was the first to come on. I shoved both earbuds into my ears and turned the volume up as loud as my ears would allow.

If it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again...

Shit, I never checked my tumblr inbox! I probably pissed off Jack for being a slow responder - something Rian constantly complained about. I bet he was already regretting trying to be friends with me. Who knows, maybe he was in a weird mood last night and he actually has no interest in talking to me on a daily basis. Regardless, my quickly numbing hands opened up tumblr and immediately went to check my messages. My heart stuttered when I saw I had a new message.

Good morningggggg Alex! Hope you have a good day at school :) I hope you're feeling better than you were last night. If you text in class, feel welcome to bug me all day. I don't really pay attention, like, ever. My day was made in those four sentences. I could feel my grin stretching from ear to ear. I probably looked really creepy to any passerbys, that's how happy I felt. He still cared!