Happy Anniversary.

18. Talk You Down.

Before a word could leave either Jack's mouth or my own, both other boys were running to me, their looks of suspicion replaced with worry and a little bit of anger. "What the hell happened to your face?" Vic asked, pushing Jack out of the way to get a closer look at my eye. Rian was right beside him, waiting for an answer.

My world slowed down for a moment. The reality of Jack's words were sinking in. I could tell on Mike right now, surrounded by the three people I was closest to, and most likely, nothing bad would happen. Jack believed me, and even if neither other boy did, Jack would back me up and we would work it out. What was holding me back?

You deserve it. That's right. I did deserve it. Every punch, jab, and jeer I got from him - it was only a personification of my mind. I couldn't figure out why no one else could see it. They put worth and value in me that I could never find for myself. Maybe I was just a masochist in the worst way.

"Alex?" Vic's hand waved in front of my face, frozen in panic. "Jack, does he have a concussion or something? He's spacing out and his looks kinda out of it."

I spoke before Jack did. "No, I don't have a concussion. The capitol of Maryland is Annapolis, blah, blah, blah. I'm fine; just tired, and like I said earlier, under the weather."

"The flu doesn't give you a fucking black eye, Alex." Rian snapped, his face reddening. "And you wonder why I'm on your ass all the time. When I leave you alone for an hour, this happens!" He slammed a fist down on the island. "And then you get upset and hurt yourself. You know what the worst part of that is? I want to help you so badly but you won't fucking let me! I'm so tired of it! Sometimes being your friend is the hardest thing I do."

Frustration grew in the pit of my stomach. I knew he was upset that I had gotten hurt while he was supposed to be watching me, but I hated that he just assumed the worst case scenario, even though it might have been the truth. That, combined with the ache of the last thing he said to me was making me want to lash out, something I never did. Usually, I had trouble with doing the opposite. "You don't even know what happened! I was walking in the hallway and not paying attention, and a door to a classroom opened and I ran face first into it! That's all!" The lie came out of my mouth faster than I could formulate it in my mind. "And if I'm that goddamn horrible, why don't you leave?" I spat.

"That's straight up bullshit, Alex, and you know it." He was in my face now, and I found myself having to refrain from shoving him away. I could hold my own in a screaming match with Rian, but if it turned physical, there was no way I could win that against Rian's legs, strong from years of cross country, and arms, toned from drumming. "You know I know exactly what happened." He hissed. It didn't escape my mind that he ignored my question, which only fueled my anger.

We stared one another down, waiting to decided who would make the first move. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jack and Vic - who had stayed quiet, letting us hash it out until now - nod and step towards us. "Guys, let's cool it." Jack said cautiously.

Breaking our silent staredown had the exact opposite reaction Jack had hoped for it to have. We lunged at one another simultaneously, and immediately Jack and Vic were in action, attempting to separate us. Jack's arms wrapped around my torso while my arms grasped for Rian's shirt, while Rian himself fought to get free from Vic's viselike grip. His eyes were bright with rage and adrenaline course through my veins so deeply that Jack, who was definitely the stronger of us, had his hands quite full trying to keep me still. "Rian, stop fighting me! Calm down!" Vic commanded in a sharp voice, while Jack took the opposite approach and whispered soothingly in my ear.

"Alex, you need to calm down. Rian's just being a dick. He doesn't know what he's saying because he's so angry. Just take deep breaths with me so we can work this out. I don't need you getting hurt anymore than you already are. Fighting's not the answer for this. Please, I don't want to do this the hard way." His voice was soft between pants of his breath. If I kept fighting him, I could probably escape his grasp. However, because I was listening to his words and realizing how much sense they made, I slumped into his lap and let him rub my shoulders comfortingly.