Breathe

three

My finger was hovering over my phone, ready to press 'call', but I found myself hesitating. I rolled my eyes, sighing, before finally starting the call and raising my phone to my ear.

"Hi!" Gill said enthusiastically right after picking up. Before I could greet her back, a noise erupted on the other line, and Gill's voice suddenly seemed far away.

"Fuck you," Sam suddenly hissed, her voice strong and full of spite. Then more of the loud noises, and a slamming door.

"Sorry for that," Gill said, a little out of breath. "I locked myself in the bathroom so Sam can't get to me. Oh my god, I can't believe you called."

I glanced down at the lit cigarette in my free hand only to find it trembling between my shaking fingers.

"Hi, Gill," I greeted back, trying my best to keep the tremble from entering my voice as well.

"How are you? How's your mom? I ran into Michael the other day, last week or so, and he said you were both fine. Shit, I was so worried. The others too. Sam's just, you know. A little pissed." Gill sighed, then took a deep breath. "Forget all that. How are you?"

"I'm okay, thank you," I replied, tapping my cigarette against the floor I was sitting on and watching the ash fall to the ground. "What about you?"

There was a brief pause, something that wasn't exactly common when talking to Gill. Then, another sigh from the girl. "I don't think I'm the one you should be calling, Kiri."

I grit my teeth, feeling my jaw tense up. "How is he?"

"He's managing, I guess. I mean, he wasn't for some time, but he's just pulling through like he always does," Gill said, talking slowly. "I miss you. We all do, Sam just can't express it."

No, I was certain Sam didn't miss me. I did not only break her and Asher's promise, but also her trust; something she didn't take easy.

I closed my eyes, still tapping the cigarette against the ground, not even thinking about it anymore.

"I'm back, Gill. I'm back at Michael's."

The following pause was put to an end by loud pounding, and I furrowed my brows.

"Fuck, Sam, stop demolishing my door!" Gill shouted before lowering her voice to a more pleasant volume again. "You're not kidding, right? I'll block your number if you are."

"I'm not. I'm sitting in his garden." I opened my eyes only to narrow them at the sun's brightness. "I just woke up."

Gill sighed. "I don't even know if I should smile, or cry, or start beating the fucking door in like Sam. I don't know, Kiri. Why?"

"There was nothing for me back home."

"No, I mean, why didn't you ever answer Ash's calls, or texted him. He would have understood if you had just told him that you needed some time for yourself back at home," she said, the pounding starting again in the background. "I'm glad you're back though. I missed you, hoe."

I raised the corners of my mouth to mimic a smile, not feeling up to giving a honest one.

"I missed you, too."

"I won't tell Sam you're back yet, or she'll run to your house right away to kick your ass," Gill said, whispering. "Just figure your shit with Ash out first. He should be the first person to know you're back, you know."

I bit my lip. "I was scared."

"If you have the guts to ghost him, you should have the guts to take responsibility," Gill replied firmly. "I'm gonna hang up now and let Sam yell at me for not letting her talk to you. Bye, Kiri. And don't just disappear again."