Breathe

two

"Hey, hold that for a second," I said, holding my backpack out to Ruby. He sighed since he was already pulling my suitcase, but took the bag.

I yawned and stretched my arms, arching my back to slowly get my body to wake up. It was still so fucking early.

"Are you done?" Ruby asked, one brow raised. "This is heavy. What's even in there?"

"Your bong," I replied. I kept walking, and Ruby didn't stop either as he narrowed his eyes at me.

"You did not take my bong."

I just shrugged as we walked towards the station. Mom was working, so Ruby had offered to help me bring my stuff to the station. I was so not looking forward to that train ride. My last one hadn't been very pleasant, after all.

Even though my thoughts had been all over the place when mom had her accident, I had still noticed how weird it was to see her and Michael together. He and Anna had left shortly after she woke up, so they only had had time for a quick hello.

Mom said she didn't even remember it, with just having woken up and all. I wasn't sure if that was right. To be fair, I didn't really care.

"Hey, why am I still carrying your backpack?" Ruby asked in annoyance. "You're done doing erotic dance moves."

I rolled my eyes. "I know, I just don't want to carry it myself. Also, that was stretching, imbecile."

"Hm. I should have guessed, since it wasn't erotic at all," Ruby replied, cracking a grin.

"Man, shut up."

He's grin faltered and we entered the station. Just a few minutes later we found ourselves on one of the platforms.

"My train should come in ten minutes," I said after checking the time on my phone. "You can go now. Thanks for coming here today."

Ruby smiled, burying his hands in his pockets. "Sure, man. Everything for my brother."

He glanced at my backpack before giving it back to me.

"I packed you a few extra packs. Just in case," he said, his voice lowered, not meeting my gaze.

"Thanks." I had been getting all my cigarettes from Ruby, who got them from his brother since we both weren't old enough to buy them yet.

"Listen." He sighed, looking around the platform before stepping a little closer, his gaze locked on the ground. "I'm sorry to see you so down, but I guess it's reasonable after what happened with your mom. It's just, you were so happy out there before you came back."

He finally looked up at me, worry in his eyes. "I really hope you'll find that happiness again. Yeah. That's all."

I pressed my lips together as I noticed a sour taste in my mouth. I hated that Ruby had to worry about me. I hated that I didn't even feel bad for leaving him again.

I just didn't feel anything but disgust at myself.

"Thanks. For the cigarettes," I said, slightly turning away. "I'll call you later."

Because I was so fucking great at calling people.

"Is that really everything you have to say?" Ruby asked, his voice suddenly growing stronger. I turned back to him, a brow raised in confusion since I hadn't expected him to raise his voice.

"What?"

"You don't talk. You don't smile. You don't even make your fucking hair anymore." Ruby shook his head, not caring about the few heads that turned our way. "I've tried to help you, man. You wanted cigarettes, so I got you some, in hopes they'd help you calm down. But they don't. I don't. I don't know what to fucking do anymore."