You're Not Alone, You're With Me

Chapter 15

Throughout the day, I stay in my room. Austin only leaves to use the restroom and get me food, but he sits back in bed with me. His arm has seemed to grow into my side and he doesn’t let me go. By the time it’s deep into the night, and Austin is passed out, his arms around me, I have it all planned out.

I get up slowly, and easier than I thought it would be. I write my good bye on a sheet of paper, and head out, making sure I don’t slam any door. I run through the lobby and down the street. Once a block away, I walk the rest of the way to a bridge that I had passed so many times now. It has nice cobblestone build, and its above a wide, fast running river. Rocks adorn the sides and below the surface. I walk over to the edge and just watch the water rush by, memorized. I flick a pebble over and watch as the water carries it away as it will soon do to my body. The water is cold, I know that because a few days before, I had sat at the bank of it and let my hand sit in it. Pneumonia would set in and kill me if the rocks didn’t themselves. There’s no way that I will bother anyone anymore. I jump up so I’m standing on the ledge, the cool air of night rushing around me, whispering to me. Egging me on.

Come with me, fly with the breeze, let all go and follow the flow. Let it lead you away, to safety. To peace.

I heard as the wisps of air talk to me somehow. I take a deep breath, the cool air constricting my warm lungs for a second. I feel so alive for once, I can feel everything. Hear everything. The water rushing against the stones, the cars in the distance, the sound of people. Everything seems so surreal, so right. This is suppose to happen. I am suppose to do this. This is what needs to be done. This is what I should do. So then why do I feel something tugging at the back of my mind.

No! Stay, push back, come back. Go back! Don’t do it. This is a bad choice, stop now while you can!

A small wisp of air tickles my ear, trying to stop me. It’s weak though, the cold is stronger, the need to do this, stronger than that small voice. I push back, yell out for it to leave. I don’t want to argue, I want to get this done.

Now! Do it now!

I hear the strong one say. I inch closer to the edge, the water starting to look more inviting, but then the weak speaks again.

No! There are people who care about you! Stop!

I shake my head and watch as a drop of water falls into the river. I wipe at my drenched cheeks, trying to control myself. Closer yet, my toes hang over the edge, pulling me closer to ending this war that has started.

“Anna,” A voice makes me snap my head to look behind myself.