Hold My Girl

Chapter 38

Beep...beep...beep...beep

I pushed against the black fog clouding my vision. I pushed hard trying to ground myself. Attach myself to anything that would pull me out.

I couldn't quite distinguish what I could hear over the white noise of my brain and the pounding in my head. There was definite beeping of machines. The odd thump which was maybe a footstep? Then suddenly there was a voice. One I didn't recognise.

"Speak to her" the voice offered.

"Can she hear me?" My heart squeezed at the familiar northern drawl.

"Definitely" The female answered enthusiastically. "She might not be able to respond but she can definitely hear you"

Respond. That's all I had to do to let Harry know I could hear him. I tried to move my hand but my whole body was like a dead weight. Like I was lying under a thick heavy blanket that was stopping me from moving.

"Hi baby girl" His voice was softer, but louder as if he was leaning in to my ear so only I could hear his precious words. He sounded so tired and in that second all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around his shoulders and tell him it would all be okay. All I had to do was squeeze his hand to let him know. I willed my fingers to move, I tried to flex even a little to let him know I could hear.

But I couldn't. And in the exertion to show him I could feel the black fog falling. Taking me elsewhere.

*

The room felt brighter than it had before. Like the lights were on or it was daylight. The rhythmic beeping of the machines lulled me out of my catatonic state. Enough that I could hear the room around me again. There were no footsteps, but definite breathing. I couldn't tell how many people were in the room but I couldn't definitely hear someone breathing close by.

"This can't be normal. To stay like this for days...What if this is it? What if she's always like this and she never wakes up?" Harry's voice was choked and I could tell he was crying. My stomach dropped at his unspoken helplessness. I'd never heard him so heartbroken and I knew I was the cause.

I willed myself to open my eyes. Even just one, so I could see him. Let him know I would come back to him when I was ready. But my body wouldn't play along.

I assumed he'd be talking to his mum, or even mine but I was surprised to hear Jeff's voice, full of sympathy and concern as I floated back out.

"You can't think like that, mate. She's strong. She'll make it"

*

I could hear the same familiar beeping but everything else was quiet as the fog started to lift. I tried to concentrate on the steady beeping. Allow it to pull me further to.. consciousness? I didn't know what this weird state of fog was. It was like my brain was waking up but my body wasn't yet ready.

I heard the door open quietly and the soft footfalls of someone coming closer. The sound of paperwork being shuffled. And then the soft familiar grunt of Harry.

"You should go home and get some rest" A feminine voice came from one side of the room. I didn't recognise the voice. Maybe she was a nurse.

"Nah, I'm fine, thanks. I want to be here when she wakes up" Harry's voice was gravely like he'd just woken up. Maybe it was night time. It felt dark, but then again it often felt dark. I hoped he was taking care of himself and he wasn't making himself ill staying in the hospital with me. I'd wake up eventually. I hoped. Then darkness fell.

*

There was more noise than usual when the fog lifted again. Immediately I could hear the sweet sounds of my daughter. She was babbling away somewhere in the room. I could hear the door open and close and always the familiar beeping.