Self Destruction (an asking alexandria fan fic)

Ben's POV

Emmie is so beautiful. I know it’s crazy but I think I love her already. I sit at the table pretty much just staring at her. She looks up from her computer and gives me a weird look.

“Hey space cadet, you need something?” I laugh. “Seriously Ben. You’re kinda freaking me out.”

“I don’t need anything. I just like looking at you and admiring your beauty.” I do sound crazy. She gives me another funny look then shuts her laptop. 

“Well you know what? I like looking at you too.” Then she stands up and walks to me.

“And why is that?” She stands in front of me and takes my hands.

“Because I am still trying to figure out why you saved me. Why you don’t want me to leave. Also because I really care for you. Now why do you stare at me lovey? I’m nothing special.”

“You’re beautiful. I’m trying to figure out how you can be this beautiful. I am also trying to figure out how such a beautiful girl is in so much pain.” I pull her down to my lap. “I saved you because I wanted to know you. I don’t want you to leave because I am still trying to figure you out. Look at me.” She turns and looks at me. I hold her face and look into her green eyes. “I think I love you Emmie.” And I kiss her. She kisses back then pulls away. She rests her forehead against mine.

“Well that’s good now isn’t it?”

“What?”

“I think I love you too Ben.” Then she kisses me. I kiss her back harder. I pull her closer as she puts her hands around my neck. She tangles her fingers in my hair and tugs. I moan slightly. I bite her bottom lip and she pulls harder. I pick her up and she puts her legs around my waist. I carry her to the bunk while still kissing then lay her down climbing on top of her. We kiss like this for awhile and she pulls away. “Ben?”

“Yes love?”

“I’m not ready for this.” Of course she is thinking this. I don’t want to sleep with her yet. She’s too special.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be. I don’t want that right now. I want our first time to be special. I know that I don’t have the greatest history with girls and sex but when I actually care about someone, I take my time. I care about you Emmie. I wasn’t planning on having anything happen this soon.” 

“Okay Ben. I just thought I would tell you. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry hun. If you didn’t stop it, I would’ve.” She smiles.

“Okay. I’m tired. Cuddle with me?” Fuck, she’s so adorable. 

“Of course love.” I kiss her one more time before she cuddles into my chest. It isn’t long before I hear her quiet mumbles. I love how she mumbles when she sleeps. I’ll have to tell her about that. I kiss the top of her head and begin to fall asleep myself.