50 People I'd Rather Be With Than You

27.

27. That waitress from Olive Garden. The one who wouldn’t quit flirting with you. She completely didn’t get the vibe that you were uninterested (were you uninterested?), and she screwed up my order three times. Now that I think about it, she also spilled salad dressing all over my jeans, didn’t she? I didn’t want to tip her, and you asked why. I told you that she was terrible and she kept flirting with you. You assured me that she was just being “friendly.” That was what you always said when someone flirted with you. They were just being “friendly.” But you liked the attention, didn’t you? Once, you liked the attention so much that you fucked someone just because they were being “friendly” with you. This is after you proposed to me, of course. You remember that, don’t you? But I don’t think you screwed the waitress from Olive Garden. She was a terrible waitress. I can’t believe you made me tip her.