The Myriad Misadventures of a Midgardian Queen-In-Training || Loki x Reader

Chapter 43

"It was pretty recently," you tell them, rushing to defend yourself. The words come easily, mostly because they're true.

"I...I told him how much I missed you all. It was right after I'd gotten the Christmas card this year, I was preparing a reply. And he said he felt badly that I hadn't seen my family in so long, and that it was a mistake on his part to not have made it easier to see you in the beginning." You look down at your hands, properly folded in your lap, your nails neatly manicured, with soft cuticles and even softer skin. So different from the bitten-to-the-quick nails you'd arrived at the palace with at sixteen. Just more proof that Steven and Mom and Erik were right, just another sign of how much you'd changed. "He seemed genuinely remorseful."

"And he told you—explicitly—that you could leave at will?"

"Yes." That's it. The words are out; you can't pretend as if they aren't true. "And I said I would stay. Not, not for the reason you think—"

"You said no."

"Yes."

Erik's head is in his hands. Dad's got a thousand-yard-stare in the direction of the back door, and Mom is glaring at the tablecloth as though she could burn a hole in it through sheer fury.

"I missed you guys," you begin carefully. "So, so much."

"So stay here. Don't go back in two weeks."

"I..." You hesitate. But if you don't say this firmly, they'll try to talk your out of it, and they might succeed, and the idea of that breaks your heart. "I can't."

"Why?" Mom's voice is brimming with tears, and you avoid her gaze at all costs. She grabs one of your hands, massaging it the way she used to when you'd have panic attacks as a small child. The simple gesture almost wears you down completely. "(Y/N). Sweetheart. Come home. It's not like you were ever planning to win, anyway, right? And you said, it's not like that."

You summon the strength to make eye contact with her. "I can help him. And if I help him, if I help him choose correctly from the other three girls, I can help the entire planet, Mom." You look up at Dad, at Erik, pleading with your eyes for them to understand. "Set up a good foundation of democracy and diplomacy for future generations. I know he seems scary from the outside. And I know the entire situation is...bizarre."

"At best," Erik mutters.

You chuckle, still tense. "Yeah. Yes. But I wouldn't be fighting for this if I didn't think it was really the right choice."

Mom lets out a long breath through her nose, her lips pursed. Then she stands up, pushes her chair into the table, and starts leaving the dining room, her food cold and untouched on her plate.

"Mom?"

"I can't do this. I'm sorry, (Y/N), I just...I need some time to think."

"Mom. Please. Mom!" But she doesn't turn around. You hear her bedroom door close quietly behind her. When you twist back around to the table, Dad and Erik have both stood up, too, on their ways out. "You guys can't seriously—"

You can't even finish the sentence before they're gone. Completely gone. Leaving you, sitting at the dining room table alone.

Really, truly alone.