The Myriad Misadventures of a Midgardian Queen-In-Training || Loki x Reader

Chapter 34

With Sapphire/Ruby gone, life is different. Quieter. Not in a particularly good or bad way, just...different.

You miss her. You miss her so, so much, and if it weren't for the fact that (based on her letters) she is living a fabulous and very safe new life back home, reunited with her sister and no longer harassed by her bigoted parents, you'd be begging her in writing to come back. Hell, if you could leave the palace, you would go to her door and beg her in person. Irina, Rhea, and Rosa are nice (well, Rosa is slightly less antagonistic than before, you suppose), but none of them have quite the same joie de vivre.

Adding to the list of things perpetually on your mind is this: half the girls are gone now. Which means that half of the girls are left, and the fact remains that you are one of them. It fills you with pride as much as it confuses you. And boy, does it confuse you. You at least expect the pace to pick up though, now that you're down to the last four.

But just like that...it's as though time comes to a stop, because nothing happens. For months.

To be clear, you're still expected to attend classes and dinner, and go to whatever ridiculous themed ball Lady Amara can cook up next. You write and play music and talk with the other girls in your free time, you talk with Loki, you ride horses and go on picnics and read through a solid portion of the library. Your birthday comes and goes, with - to your relief - no real pomp and circumstance to celebrate it. You can name all of the world's countries in alphabetical order on command, you know how to settle various political disputes at the drop of a hat, and you're as well-educated in matters of etiquette as any teenager could possibly be.

But that's it. Nobody else is dismissed from the palace, including you. It's been just about a year since five became four, and, as far as you can tell, none of the other girls have made any more romantic progress with His-Royal-Slowness than you have (though they probably have, considering you've only gotten as far as admitting to yourself that you wouldn't mind being his friend).

Which leaves you...where?

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Dear Mom, Dad, Carlie, and Erik,

I miss you.

You sigh, and cross it out. It's the holidays, dumbass. Maybe start out on a slightly happier note, yeah?

Now, let's try again.

Happy holidays! Thank you for the card - it was funny to be on the receiving end! Carlie, remember how much we'd complain about having to smile until Mom said we'd gotten the perfect picture? Remember how much our cheeks hurt? I know it sounds crazy, but I miss that now, too! I'm having fun here, but I wish I could see you guys this winter.

"What are you writing?"

You flinch - out of surprise, not fear - and bend your head back to look at the black-and-green-clad dork standing behind your seat on the couch. "It's a letter, to my family. I got a Christmas card from them a few days ago, and I figured I might as well say thanks," you explain. He walks around and settles into a nearby chair, and you cock your head at him. "You haven't been around much the last few days. Everything ok?"

"What's a Christmas card?"

Way to deliberately avoid my question... He looks too exhausted for you to call him out on it, though, so you play along. "Here." You pull out the rectangle of paper, glossy on one side, with a picture of your parents and siblings grinning in front of the house. You can tell by the shovel propped against the stoop that they had just finished shoveling snow out of the sidewalk, and from the slightly-too-big smiles that Mom had probably forced them to get the picture before she'd let them go inside. "It's a holiday tradition. Lots of Earth families do them. They don't have to be for Christmas, either. It's an easy way to let people know you're thinking about them, in case you don't get to see them during the holidays. They sent me one last year, too." You feel your smile fade slightly as you give the picture another once-over. Carlie's shooting up like a weed, her previously gap-toothed smile beginning to fill in. She's almost ten, now, you realize. Erik is looking more like Dad every day, you're sure, and your parents seem a little...wilted. Less genuinely happy than you remember them.

"You miss them." It's not a question. Even the guy who claimed Earth as his new kingdom is observant enough to realize that taking a young woman away from her family for two years isn't the kindest thing to do.

"Yeah." You shrug, tucking the card back under your journal. "My baby sister's getting older. It's weird, not being there to see it. And it's even weirder that I'm almost a legal adult, and I haven't seen any of them in person since I was sixteen."

When you look back up at him, he's staring at you with...remorse, you think. "I'm very sorry."

"Not enough to let me go," you joke. Or, it's meant to come out as a joke, but had more of a sting than you'd anticipated. "Sorry, I mean - "

"No need to apologize. Being separated from your family is difficult." He goes quiet for a moment. "I imagine the other ladies feel the same way."

"Probably."

"You asked me last year if I would release you, and I said no."

"Loki - "

"Don't. Please." He presses a hand to his mouth, shakes his head, and speaks again. "You are free to leave whenever you wish."

What?

You head a soft scattering of papers as the writing materials slide off your lap. He's down on the ground before you have a chance to even move, gather the papers together and straightening them out again. "You would do that for me?"

He places the small stack of papers on the couch next to you, and, still kneeling, grabs your hands gently. "(Y/N), you gave me your friendship and I repaid you by keeping you trapped here."

"I'm not trapped - I mean, I want to see my family, I just..."

The kneeling has you more flustered than usual, and you can't quite figure out why. But you take a deep breath, look him in the eyes, and finally, finally find the words to ask him what you're really thinking:

"Do you want me to leave?"