different » marvel ¹

seventeen

   "Don't win the war 'til I get there." A small blonde man's voice echoes over to Bucky, who's standing a few yards away in an army uniform.

   The scenery changes. "Sometimes I think you like getting punched." Army Bucky walks over to the small blonde man, this time they're both in an alleyway.

   "Bucky!" A girl's high-pitches voice is heard, showing another memory. "You actually did it! Y'know, I really didn't think you'd win that bear." A red-headed girl was squeezing a large teddy bear next to a carnival booth.

   The memories progress, but the blonde guy is shown again in this one. Bucky places a hand tightly on his shoulder, giving a small smile. "I'm with you 'til the end of the line, pal."

   When this memory plays, my mind feels as if it's being warped, and I know it's time to let go of my hold. With a slight gasp, my eyes open to Bucky and I sitting on the bed. My hands are pressed lightly on the sides of his face. His reaction to me letting go of his mind is softer than mine. His brow scrunches in confusion as his blue eyes open to meet my brown ones.

   "Is there something wrong? Did—Did I do something? Are you okay?" His concern is somewhat flattering, but I brush it off.

   "Yeah, I'm fine. There was just this pull, and whenever I feel that, it means it's time to take a break." I explain, letting my hands drop from his face. "That memory held significance for you, if it didn't I wouldn't have felt what I did. It was important."

   I want to ask him directly who the blonde guy was, but even if it's unsure, a part of me already knows. A silence falls over us, but I don't mind, knowing it's because he's thinking and trying to piece together the shards of memories he had gained back. I just wish I could give him more; he deserves to see more.

   "God, I hate this . . ." I brush my hair back from my face, tucking a few strands behind my ear. Even though I muttered the words lightly, he picks up on it, looking up from his stern gaze on the bed.

   "Hate what?"

   "This. The fact that I can't remember, that you can't remember! I hate that I have to go inside your head to give you something that was yours in the first place. I want to do more, I want to remember and I hate them for doing what they did to us." My voice cracks unintentionally and I dislike the factor of vulnerability it instills in me. Frustration is shown in the small tears that form in the corners of my eyes and I try to fight them back.

   Bucky is clearly unsure of what to do, the uncertainty present on his face, but moves towards me slowly as he visibly gulps from nervousness.

   Placing his hands gently on my shoulders, he pulls my slim frame into him, wrapping his arms around my torso in a comforting hug.

   I bury my face in the crook of his neck, wrapping my arms around him as well. This type of affection wasn't new to either of us, but it was still hard to initiate due to our inability to react to emotions properly right now. We had hugged before, comforted each other when needed, but this time was different. I could tell by the off-feeling I had in my gut. It felt like I was nervous, but in a good way, if that was even possible, and it made me not want to let go of him.

I felt safe and that scared me.

• • •

   "Anything new?" Wanda's voice rang out, her eyebrows raising in question.

   "Steve's still blaming himself for the fact that Raven isn't here." Natasha sighs. "He thinks she's dead, Wanda, and I've tried convincing him that the remains they found weren't hers. If they were the news channels would be having a field day with "Avenger Unexpectedly Dies In Tragic Accident", but he doesn't believe me."

Confusion passes over Wanda's face. "What exactly happened between them? Were they together or something?"

Nat nearly snorts at the idea, chuckling afterwards. "For a while, I definitely thought those two were gonna be a thing." Nat shrugs a little. "They just worked together really well, both leaders in their own means and they rarely had any conflict, they balanced each other out really well. In my opinion, anyway."

   ". . . So they weren't together?"

   Natasha shakes her head. "Nope. Maybe if she was here, things would be different, but . . . from everything I've seen, they're just really good friends."

"Do you—Do you really believe you'll get her back? What if Steve is right?" Wanda's eyebrows pull together in a negative way.

"Steve can't be right, Wanda. Nothing will be the same if we don't get her back, so we will." She nods in an affirming manner. "You two would get along well." She smiles before shifting uncomfortably in her seat and getting up. Natasha changes the subject, "I'm going to go to the gym for while. You wanna go?"

• • •

   "Bucky?" My voice is quiet since we're still enveloped in a hug. He hums in acknowledgement, making his chest vibrate. "Maybe we should . . . find them. They could help you more than I could."

   Bucky pulls away from the hug, eyebrows furrowed at me and my idea. "No. That's not safe, you know that. We're both wanted; me for . . . what I did, and for you going rogue and helping me."

"No, if we're careful and we avoid the public, we could get to them. They could help us remember, Buck. Even with my powers, we can't help ourselves the way we need to."

"We aren't doing it! We'll figure it out without endangering ourselves more than we already are, okay?" His voice raised for a moment, making my eyes widen.

It's quiet for a second, then he speaks up again. "If we draw attention to ourselves we risk getting caught. I don't want that to happen, especially to you."