I Have Decided to Protect My Fiancé from the Heroine

Chapter 38: Aftermath

For a long time, I felt like I'd been floating in a sea of darkness. My sense of time was skewered and I couldn't tell how long I had been in this state. For a moment, I thought I had died and I was on my way to my next reincarnation. But I realized quickly that something was still holding onto me, keeping me grounded to this realm. A faint warmth was always by my side, melting away the coldness of the dark.

And after what felt like an eternity, I felt myself awakening from my deep slumber. I woke up to a familiar ceiling, which I had never been happier to see. It was the canopy of my bed back in our castle in Floria. As I had just awoken, the feeling in my body was still dull. However, I could feel a small warmth in my left hand. I look over, and I see Ren holding my hand gently as he laid next to me on top of the covers. He was sleeping soundly, but I could see the dark bags under his eyes. If God existed, He would surely be mad that I had made one of His prettiest creations so haggard like this.

Even after my deep sleep, I still felt a little tired. After giving Ren's hand a small squeeze with all the strength I could muster, I went back to sleep.

. . .

The next time I opened my eyes, Ren was no longer by my side. I felt a small panic in my heart, but my body was too weak to do anything. I wonder how long I had been asleep?

Just as I was about to try to call for someone, Ren walked through the door. He was holding a tray with a glass and a pitcher of what I assumed to be water. As soon as we make eye contact, the tray crashed onto the floor and he just stood at the door, frozen in place. I weakly lifted my left hand and waved.

"I'm not dreaming, am I? Because I've dreamed this many times before," he approached me slowly, as if I would run away if I were startled. Not that I could, anyway.

"And every time I woke up, you were still..." He teared up, stopping at an arm's length from the bed. He looked afraid and so vulnerable, different from the Ren I know. I wanted to tell him it was okay, and it wasn't his fault, but my voice was stuck in my throat.

I don't know if it was because of the expression Ren was carrying, or if my emotions from almost dying had caught up to me. My eyes stung and tears started flowing down my face. I struggled to breathe, sobbing uncontrollably. Ren hesitantly came closer, resting his hand on my cheek. His eyes searched mine, then finally wrapped me in his arms. I buried my head in to his chest, and I could feel his shoulders trembling. His tears stained my shoulder as he wept.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry." he said in a whisper, between his sobs. He apologized over and over again, his voice desperate and sincere. I could only stay silent, as my voice hadn't returned to me. But even if my voice had returned, I had no idea what I could say.

I thought I could easily forgive and forget, and just blame it on how this world worked. I knew how that overpowering force compelled us to behave similarly to the game. But it appears human emotions are a complex thing. I can't seem to forget that searing anger I felt as I watched him leave, even right now. I know its not his fault. Its the fault of the damned world we live in. And despite that unknown force, he saved me. I know. But even still, I'm angry.

I feel my emotions clashing with each other, giving my a headache. My inability to stop crying made it worse, making my head hurt more and more with each hiccup.

I must've fallen asleep at some point, as I woke up once more with my parents sleeping by my bedside. It must be a little later in the day, as the room was bathed in a golden hue.

My mother woke up first, her long, delicate eyelashes fluttering open. Although she looked terribly worn out, she was still beautiful. The light from the setting sun made her hair glow in a honey color, making her look like an angel. Her gentle eyes made me want to cry again.