The Sun and The Stars (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 20

"Do you want me to pick up more food? Do you need more bandages for your leg? Do you need your-" my mom starts fussing as we walk into the apartment. After spending all day at the police station, my family persuaded me to come home and sleep. There weren't any beds at the station that we could take up and to be honest, I was exhausted and didn't feel too great – mentally and physically.

My thigh was throbbing and aching, which I was told was to be expected. I mean, I got stabbed, what else was going to happen? I also had such a bad headache after everything that happened today and my thoughts were a mess. I was mainly focused on trying to understand what Kai was thinking right now. Was Beckett making him comfortable? Was he still moving them around? Was he hurting him? ...Did he kill him? Oh, god, please, please, tell me he didn't hurt him.

All of these thoughts were running through my head. Either being majorly positive or majorly negative and everything in-between, it was all running through my head. The only thing that was keeping me positive was the fact that Beckett told me that he would never hurt a child. I had to believe him. I had to or I would've already driven myself crazy.

"No, Mom, I just want to sleep," I whisper to her, wobbling my way towards my bedroom with my crutches. I turn my head to look at Aria, who was already staring at me with hesitant eyes. But when he sees me looking, his smile widens and he takes a step towards me.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" He asks in a soft voice.

I nod my head, really not wanting to be alone tonight. "Yes, please."

I turn around and make my way to my bedroom while Aria makes sure my parents were comfortable. They didn't want to leave and go home since they wanted to stay close to me during this rough time. I know they were taking all of this hard since this was their grandson that was missing and possibly... possibly hurt. But thankfully, they weren't saying anything since it was pretty obvious that I was fragile right now. My kid – my beautiful son – was probably somewhere horrible. Somewhere dark, which he was terrified of, somewhere without anything to keep him occupied. He was probably scared out of his mind right now and didn't know what to do.

Was he crying? Was he shaking? What was he doing right now?

That one question had been haunting me ever since I woke up this morning. What, exactly, was Kai doing right now? All I wanted was to know where he was right now, so I could drop everything and go straight for him. I would hug him so tight and never, ever let go. I would take him home, take him back here, and lay with him in my bed with his stuffed animal and his nightlight and read him countless numbers of books to help calm him down. I would hold him through his nightmares. I would make him all the foods he wanted, no matter what time it was. I would let him watch whatever he wanted, stay up as late as he wanted. I would let him do anything right now, as long as he was with me.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by Aria closing my bedroom door before coming over to me. He helps me sit down onto my bed before laying my crutches down so they were accessible to me whenever I needed them. He lets out a sigh as he plops down on the edge of the bed next to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulder before pressing a soft, sweet kiss to my temple. "What're you thinking about?"

"About all the things I want to do with him. About all the things I wish I had done with him and told him before any of this happened. All the things I should have done to protect him," I whisper, not being able to contain the bitter voice from coming out. I was mad at myself for not knowing that Beckett would do something like this. I was mad at myself for taking Kai into that alley, giving Beckett easy access to do something like this.

Aria doesn't say anything because what was he supposed to say? He couldn't tell me that I did a good job keeping my son safe because that's clearly not true. He was gone right now and I had no idea where he was. I didn't do a good job keeping him safe, so I would probably just get mad if he tried to tell me otherwise. Instead, he stands in front of me before lightly tapping my uninjured knee that was covered in the sweatpants that Kadri brought for me earlier in the day.