Burning up ☞︎ A Jesse st. James Fan Fic

Guilty Pleasures

So here's what you missed on glee: Santana and Dani thought that Brody was a drug dealer but it turns out he's a gigolo. And Santana and Dani figured it out and called Finn... so Finn went to New York and beat the crap out of Brody and told him to... stay away from my future wife! And Rachel has no idea any of this is going on. Yikes! And that's what you missed on Glee!

I sit next to Kurt in acting class, in complete shock. I literally don't think I can move.

"See, everybody, by acting out our secret shames, like Carly's traumatic sense-memory of potty training, we become more vulnerable as actors. Kurt, your up." The teacher says. Kurt stands up and does his traumatic scene.

"Danielle, you're next!" He says and I get up to do my own.

That night Rachel was showering and Kurt and I were brushing our teeth when Santana walked into the bathroom.

"Okay, this is ridiculous. If I'm going to be paying a fourth of the rent, I'm going to need a fourth of the shelf space." Santana complains.

"Don't get too comfortable, okay? This is only temporary." Rachel comments. I snort.

"Okay." I mutter with a mouth full of toothpaste. Kurt laughs.

"I don't even think you need all these beauty products, Rachel, 'cause they're not really having the desired effect. Unless your goal is to look like a reject from the Shahs of sunset." Santana says. Kurt and I spit out our toothpaste.

"One, Rachel's beautiful. Two, you're a bitch and those are my products, okay? And maybe if you used them, you wouldn't have more Paul then the Middle East on your face." Kurt says back. We high five.

"Ooh." Rachel says from the shower. Santana and I laugh. Rachel starts singing in the shower.

"That's really funny. You want to play with me, Kurt, 'cause I can play all day every day. What if I just told your BFF about her BF and his man-whoring ways?" Santana threatens. We spit in the counter again.

"We had a pact." Kurt says. I shrug.

"What if I broke that pact, huh? What would you do? Attack me with your exfoliating loofah?" Santana whispers.

"Okay, She can't find out until after her Funny Girl audition, all right? That would wreck her." Kurt reasons, still whispering.

"Maybe if you make me some space, I'd care a little bit more. I want that whole top row." Santana tells him as rachel steps out of the shower in a towel. I start flossing.

"Ooh la la, Rachel Berry in a towel. How could Brody give all this up?" Santana comments. I nudge her with a smirk.

"You know what, not now, Okay. It's too soon. Everything still reminds me of him. You know we first met in the bathroom, bonding over our moisturizing ritual?" Rachel informs us, sadly.

"Are you sure he didn't leave you for Kurt?" I ask.

"Wow, that sounds really not romantic and also very, very gay. Is that why he left, huh? Did he finally admit to having a boyfriend on the side?" Santana says.

"You know, he actually didn't even say why." Rachel says, explaining how he left.

"Puke. That is the most cliche breakup line ever. You're not gonna be friends and you don't need him. I mean you've got friends right here." Santana says sounding genuine.

"What? Friends who mock my looks and undermine my confidence?" Rachel asks rehotorically.

"It's how we show we care." I sympathize.