Burning up ☞︎ A Jesse st. James Fan Fic

The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

We finished our routine, standing in front of Coach Sue. I stood next to Quinn in a blue wig and a modified Cheerios uniform.

"I'm bored. Ladies, I am at a loss. Brittany, please remind me of how I single-handedly our cheerleading on the map." Coach instructs.

"In 1979, you directed a made-for-TV movie about the Dallas cowboy cheerleaders called The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders." Brittany informs the team.

"That is correct. And in the meantime, what's changed?" Coach asks.

"Personal grooming habits?" I ask.

"What's changed is I have completely lost interest. And ladies, I blame you. Becky- more silicone falsies." Coach instructs Becky.

"Got it, Coach." Becky heads over to us with a bucket.

"You will each enhance your busy with an additional pair of chicken cutlets, in an attempt to add some jiggle to what is the most boring routine i have ever witnessed." Coach says distressed.

"Coach. This is the most elaborate routine the Cheerios have ever done. We're shoo-ins ya regionals next week, and we're the favorites to win at nationals." I defend.

"And yet I am still very bored." Coach says into the microphone.

"Even things I used to think were hilarious... case in point. Sandbags, slap yourself with a chicken cutlet." Coach says. Santana does it.

"Now slap Brittany." Coach says next. Santana does it.

"See? Not even a chuckle." Coach says.

"The problem is you keep trying to make a bigger and bigger spectacle. No matter how hard we try, we can't make a routine work unless you find a way to make it interesting for you." Quinn says.

"You have to find a way to top yourself." I add.

"Q, Dani, you may just have a point. But to be sure, Dani, slap Quinn with a chicken cutlet." Coach says.

After school Quinn, Santana, Brittany, and I stand on the sidelines, cheering for the team. I watch in confusion as Finn almost immediately drops the ball, the other team taking it and getting a touch down.

The next day I'm walking through the halls when I see at least half of the football team dumping slushees onto Artie. I rush to them.

"Don't you dare!" I shout. The team freezes. I look to see only three cups full out of all the team members. Dammit, I wasn't quick enough.

"Get out of here now before I whoop all ya asses!" I yell out through the hall, other students rushing by me in fear. The football team hesitates.

"Did I stutter?!" I scream. They all drop their cups and rush off, laughing. I sigh and bend down to Arties height. I start trying to wipe off as much slush as I can. I sigh looking at the mess.

"I'm so sorry Artie. I was sure they would never go after you." I say softly. He shrugs, also trying to wipe some off. I carefully take off his glasses and for the first time I can clearly see his surprisingly bright blue eyes. I clear my throat and start cleaning off his glasses.

"I was hoping they wouldn't... you've never been slusheed have you?" He asks. I hand him back his glasses laughing lightly.

"No. They're all too scared of what I would do if they did." I say trying to lighten the mood. I purse my lips seeing as there's nothing else I can really wipe off without it getting weird.

"But they go after Santana." Artie points out, looking up as me as I've now stood to my full 5'5 height. I shrug.

"Santana is mostly bark. I have a longer history of violence then her. And when violence doesn't work, calling their mothers usually does the trick." I explain as I move to push Artie towards the choir room. The explanation gets a laugh out of him if only for a moment.