Dave Hodgman, Hopelessly, Sad

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I had been in love with my best friend for 3 years. That friend was Dave Hodgman. He was the definition of perfect. He had the most gorgeous eyes, amazing jaw line and a super nice personality. He was the total package.

The only problem with Dave was, he was dating the popular mean girl of our school. She hated me, for reasons I did not know, and she always tried to make Dave leave me alone. But he never did, but it's not like he broke up with her either.

Today was a Saturday and I was doing my usual, watching Netflix. I had an appointment today with my therapist but that wasn't until later.

The reason why I had a therapist was because... my dad and brother both died in a car accident 5 months ago. I felt really...lost when they left and my mum was always on work trips. I loved them both so much and I didn't even get to say goodbye. I never knew I would never see them again, and that hurt. I miss them so much.

I sometimes think there is no point in being here, I try not to, by the thoughts just come and come and I feel as though I can't stop them. I breaks me down. Dave's girlfriend didn't help.

I was watching Afterlife when I got a notification on my phone. I paused the video and reached over the side of my bed to pick it up, only to reveal a text from Amy (Dave's girlfriend)

Amy- Jesus Y/N! You are such a freak, honestly! I heard you and Dave are hanging out today and tonight, thanks for taking my boyfriend again bitch. Y'know you should have died in that crash along with you dad and brother, you are a useless piece of shit!

I kept reading the message over and over again. Each word swirling in my mind. She wasn't wrong, me and Dave are hanging out tonight and I was all those things. The word "crash" kept circling in my mind, I was brought back into reality by another notification.

You have been added to a new group chat! This group chat contains Amy, Izzy and Clara.

Izzy and Clara were Amy's minions, they hated me to.

Izzy- You are such a whore Y/N! Fancy taking Amy's boyfriend away from her! You are a massive bitch, I hope you know that. God! Why won't you end your life already, go die like the rest of your family

Clara- You should totally die, it's not like anyone will miss you. Plus, Dave only hangs around with you because he feels sorry about you and your pathetic life. Can it get any sadder? Bitch

Amy- You see Y/N, everyone thinks you should die, so why don't you. No one cares, no one will miss you, no one gives a flying fuck about what happens to you. Kill Your Self!

Tears were running down my face as they texted me even more. I tried to leave the group chat but they just added me back in. The words were getting to me and they were swirling around my head, the voices were getting louder. I couldn't take it anymore.

I picked up a pen and paper and started to write 2 letters. One for my mum and one for...Dave.

Dear Mum,
I am so sorry I have done this, but I can't take it anymore. I miss dad and Danny too much and the voices in my head are getting louder. The kids at school don't help.
This isn't because of you mum, you haven't done any of this. I love you so much, please don't forget that. And don't forget me xxx

I wrote the other letter and placed them on my bed. I moved to the bathroom and took out the full bottle of pain killers. I put all of them in my mouth, took some water and swallowed. I dropped the bottle and sat down on the bathroom floor. Soon enough the room started to get darker and the last thing I remember was someone shouting my name and everything going black.

Dave's POV

I was Saturday, also known as mine and Y/N's annual movie day/night. I had always liked
Y/N, more than a friend, but I could never tell her. Someone as amazing and special as her would never like me. I walked up to her house, a bag of treats in my hand and a smile on my face. These were my favourite times with Y/N.

I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I tried again but still, no answer. I decided to use the key Y/N gave me and opened the door. The house was oddly quite, not even the sounds of Y/N's Netflix played from upstairs.

"Y/N?" I asked going up the stairs and into her room. Nothing. Just as I was about to leave, something caught my attention on her bed. It was my name and her mother's on two separate letters. That's when a bottle dropping caught my attention. I ran to bathroom, only to see Y/N going to the floor with an empty bottle of pain killers by her side.

"Y/N!" I yelled going over to her. I lifted her up so her body was resting on mine. "Come on
Y/N, you have to stay with me. Don't go Y/N, I love you!" I said stroking her head slightly as I got my phone from my pocket and dialled 911.

After speaking with them I focused my attention back on Y/N, "Y/N, come on please stay with me. Don't die please" tears were clouding my vision of the thought of Y/N not making it. "Please don't go, I love you. I love you so much, don't leave me"

The sounds of sirens soon filled my ears as people rushed up the stairs. I must have left the door open. The paramedics rushed through the bathroom and took Y/N. Some asked me questions but I couldn't concentrate, the only thing on my mind was Y/N. Soon the questions stopped as the paramedics said they had to leave to help Y/N. "O-Okay, I will be a-at the hospital s-soon" I said going over to Y/N's bed.
That's when the letters caught my attention again.

I picked up mine and started to read it, tears came to my eyes as I went over every word.

Dear Dave,
I'm so sorry that I have done this, I just can't take it anymore. The voices are getting louder and the therapy session aren't really helping. I don't really want to say this but, Amy's been making it worse as well, her and her minions. I'm sorry about that, I know you like her.

I also want to say something else.
I love you Dave Hodgman.
I have done for 3 years. It was when we first meet. The beginning of sophomore year. You showed me around and I immediately fell in love with your gorgeous brown eyes. You were also a right charm. It was safe to say I was hopelessly in love with you Dave Hodgman and nothing could change that.
Thank you for everything, for being my friend, my crush and helping thorough the crash. I could never ask for someone better than you, Dave Hodgman.
I love you and don't forget that or me.
From Y/N xxx

After reading the note the tears were streaming down my face. I think it was mostly because I knew Y/N wasn't going to make it and that I would never tell her I loved her to.

We fell in love with each other on the same day, but admitted it at the wrong time.

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