Probably

Chapter 2

It Was Over

Antoine

Justin and I were waiting at the shop for the girls. I was indeed overly excited to meet the maid of honor, about whom Mary and Justin had spoken so highly about. The description of the lady reminded me of an old friend, who I had lost touch with. It was my fault now that I think of it. I should have been the kind of friend she expected me to be. She never failed me as a friend. But when the time came, I failed her, and instead of taking responsibility for my actions, I blamed her for it.

I regret saying those words to her when we last spoke. Because, if only I had known it was the last time I was going to see her, I would have told her a lot of things for which I had never gathered the courage to tell her. It's not like I never tried to speak to her. Emails after emails... voice mails after voice mails... letters after letters...

She just never replied.

Days, filled with sleepless nights, became weeks, filled with pain. Weeks became months, filled with guilt and finally, these months paved the way for the darkness to reside within me for the rest of my life, and now I was filled with sheer regret. Over the last four years, I had lost myself just as I had lost her. I did not know how to reverse what had happened. I could feel myself become more and more plastic by the second- fake from outside, hollow from within. Some said it was the fame, but I knew it was not that. She and I often found ourselves criticize such "plasticky" people. But now I had become one of them. I needed her, but I didn't try and to speak to her again because I feared the same old rejection that I had faced four years ago.

She was justified in not answering back. I felt selfish to have wanted her to leave everything just because I was aware that I was completely dependent on her and would get lost if she went away. I guess, my worst nightmare did come true.

How could I ever speak to her? What would I even say? I didn't deserve her forgiveness. Its true when they say you can't hurt somebody that you don't love... you just can't.

I loved her. I love her. And I will always love her. And not just as my best friend, but as somebody I would want to spend the rest of my life with, have a family with, grow old with. But then some dreams just never come true.

Anyways, as I said, I was very excited to meet this woman who I had heard so much about. The chiming of the bell made me realize the door had opened but I was too busy to look up because I was stuffing myself with pastries. I could sense Justin get up and greet someone and hence, I just assumed, it was the to be bride and the much-awaited maid of honour, who, I remember, was described to me as "breathtakingly beautiful". I didn't stop doing what I was doing as the smell and taste of the pastries had held me in a trance. I would definitely marry this pastry if I could.

Pulling me out of my trance, was a beautiful voice, which sounded extremely familiar.

I hope she is not who I think she is, I thought to myself and crossed my fingers.

I heard the voice say- "Hi" to Justin and giggle in a very musical and rhythmic way. I was too scared to turn and look behind at her face, knowing that it would be the girl from my past who I could never stop thinking about, and her presence was enough to cause all my feelings of guilt to burst out. My heart stopped beating. I could feel the tension building up within me. The blood from my face slowly crept away leaving me as white as snow.

What should I do? I thought further. Probably, it would be best if I run away.

I just could not face her after all I had done to her. I couldn't compose myself or put up the fake appearance that I had mastered by now. I couldn't hurt her more. I couldn't harm myself anymore. I love her and that was all I knew. I wanted to get her back, but the real question was HOW?

Though I was lost in my plans of redemption, I could feel her walk up to me. The fear prevented me from looking up and meeting her eyes. The lady stretched out her hand and said- "Hi, I am Veronica...." It's from here on that my senses failed, and my world seemed to be crumbling apart. I didn't bother to hear the rest of her sentence. Just the name she had uttered from her mouth had caused a panic inside me and I felt as if my systems were shutting.

I looked at her hand blankly, allowing my ridiculous thoughts to take over me. Did I just hear the name Veronica? As in Veronica Stevens? That cant be possible! She could never forget me! Or could she? Or worse, had she forgotten me?

I didn't need these thoughts right now. I needed to find the courage to get her back and fix the things between us. But just her name got me tongue tied and frozen. I looked up to just confirm whether I had guessed the person correctly.

And that's when our eyes met.

I wished to look at them for a longer time because they always had a way of calming me down, but even before I could think about it, I was greeted with a tight slap across my face. By the time I recovered for this extravagant and unique greeting, Veronica had walked out of the shop. And the timing of the paparazzi was just impeccable. They took snaps from every possible angle and I could literally hear their thoughts about the headlines on tomorrows news paper and how they would present this spicy incident in their gelignite article.

Veronica didn't seem to care about the press because she stopped a cab, sat in it, and drove away.

I wanted to stop her, but the flashes had blinded me. I did nothing but stood there, realizing for the first time that the distance that had developed between the two of us was unrepairable, irreversible.

I had finally realised I had lost her forever.

The part of me that clung to the thought of us being together again, with hope of revival, had also vanished after this incident.

I had successfully lost myself, allowing every single bit of my existence to be overtaken by the rapidly growing darkness within me.

There was nothing left that could be mended.

It was over.