Probably

Chapter 6 - Part I

Alex. Alex Greenhall.

Alex. Alex Greenhall. The man I dated back when I was in Harvard. I started dating him to get over Antoine but I ended up having feelings for him too. As one would have realised by now, I never got over Antoine and I didn't even want to now. But Alex... he also meant something to me.

Alex was one the members of our so-called 'gang' back in Harvard. He wasn't the best-looking guy on campus but was definitely the smartest, the most caring, the most understanding and equally funny boy on campus. On our first day on campus, I met him at the cafeteria. He was reading a book. I asked him if the seat in front of him was taken and he replied no very sweetly. I sat there reading my book. Silence surrounded us till Alex looked up at me and started giggling.

"what?", I asked him.

"I'm sorry... it's just that the two of us were reading the same book."

I looked up to see the name on his book. Indeed, we were reading the same book- the fault in our stars. He, I found out, was a Literature student while I, was a student completing her management course. We weren't sharing any common classes but we did meet each other in the evenings, breaks or whenever we had free time. We spoke about many things and I assure you that our conversations weren't dull. Our conversations ranged from academics to politics, from marvel and dc comics to classics written by Shakespeare. We spoke about music and movies and I discovered that he sang as well.

What couldn't he do! I thought.

It took me the next six months to realize that I hadn't thought about Antoine even once ever since I had met him. Alex let me be this new person, who was better than who I was when Antoine was around. I liked being this strong, opinion-oriented, free spirited person. It gave me a better perspective of life. It let me stay way from the drama, from Antoine.

By the time a year had passed, I could not imagine spending my day without Alex. We literally did everything together.

The annual spring fest was round the corner and everyone was preparing for it.

"I am excited for the spring fest... I think it will be quite fun.", I said.

"good, because I have a surprise for you", he said.

"what surprise?" I asked impatiently.

"for someone who has such good grades as you, you can be a little stupid sometimes. It's a surprise. You just have to wait and see" he said laughing as I nudged him.

And finally, the opening of the spring fest came. We all were standing and enjoying the performances and food of the fest. I was too engrossed in the performances that I didn't realize that Alex wasn't there.

"do you know where Alex is?" asked a student.

"you'll see" said Mary with a cheeky smile. It seemed everyone in the gang had a cheeky smile except for me. They knew something that I did not know and it was killing me but I didn't ask. Who was I kidding? I loved the thrill of a good surprise.

The lights went out. Everyone wondered what was going on. That's when the crowd heard someone singing on the mike and strumming the guitar and say

"Fly me to the moon" those words were enough to make the crowd go wild.

For the love of god, it was frank Sinatra's song! I loved frank Sinatra and this song in particular.

The voice that we heard in the dark, sounded extremely familiar. The thought of its owner made my heart beat rapidly. I was still unsure about my guess; hence, I didn't react much to the voice. I didn't want to get my hopes too high.

The lights came on revealing Alex on the stage.

That's it. I thought. I want you all to myself. Right here, right now.

He remembered my request of him singing in a college fest. He remembered my favourite song. It was a perfect surprise given by the perfect man.

"Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a-Jupiter and Mars..."

The grace with which he sang made my heart want to explode. Everyone on campus present there had lost it.

I could tell all the boys and girls on campus had same feeling as I did. His voice sounded so sexy, I couldn't resist but bite my lower lip. He was definitely going to become a phenomenon in college now.

As he sang, his green eyes searched mine and when they finally met, I could feel fire-works going on everywhere. He now got off the stage and singing he started making his way through the crowd.

"In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me

Fill my heart with song and
Let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore"

He came up to me and held my hand.

Oh, if he could tell how I felt right now!

The next few words were not addressed to the whole crowd but only to me.

"In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you....

Veronica Stevens, will you be my girlfriend?" he said with a hint of fear, probably thinking that I would reject him.

I simply took the mike from his hand and without breaking the eye contact that we had established earlier, I simply sang back...

"In other words, I'll be yours..."

The excitement of the crowd, on hearing my approval, was nothing compared to the expression on Alex's face. He grabbed me by the waist to pull me even closer to him, as though he didn't want any distance between the two of us and wished for both our bodies to blend together and become one. He then cupped my face in his soft hand and kissed me extremely passionately. Everything around us was forgotten when he kissed me that day. I found myself getting lost in that kiss with every second.

Every time he kissed me this would happen and today's kiss in the lawn, under the star lit sky, at my bff's wedding, was no different.

No, I didn't want to kiss him back, but... I couldn't resist. No, I didn't take Antoine's feelings into consideration because everything happened just so quickly that I forgot that there was someone called Antoine in this whole damn world. Alex had this effect on me and I could do nothing about it. His eyes held me in a trance as much as Antoine's did.

Did I love the same way? Yes, I believe. Probably even more.

Did I want him? Yes.

Did I need him? Probably no.

Was I being too harsh to believe that I did not need him? I know I was shutting the possibility of Alex because I didn't want to lose Antoine, again.

But was Antoine worth sacrificing my love for Alex? Probably not.

a/n: i have updated the second part also today. So, pls do read it.