The Tutor

29. The Tutor

29

It's Christmas day and I've gone on three dates. They've just been old guy friends from school, or some guy I met somewhere that asked for my number.

I swear I have so masochistic tendencies, because every guy that I went out with had, believe it or not, brown hair and green eyes. One had brown eyes, but they were a light brown, and every one was not as charming, or not as funny, or not as smart. In the end Rose got fed up with my excuses and just yelled at me that they reason I wasn't enjoying the date was because none were Carson. I scoffed at the thought, but deep down...I knew she was right.

Yet, I kept dating and flirting, and it was only hurting one person...me.

I sighed and looked out the window of my room. It was way too early in the morning for anyone to be out and about and the sun was just rising. I smiled and simply watched it, thinking.

"What am I going to do?" I whispered to myself. "Why did he do this? I thought everything was going to well. I thought that we would be together for a while. Was that just my girlish fantasy? Was I just thinking things were okay when they actually weren't?" I thought back to some things that have happened. About our first kiss. About how he rode to the hospital with me. About how he handled my family.

Impossible. There was no reason for this impromptu breakup.

I sighed and cuddled back up into my warm comforters, falling back asleep.

I woke up like a normal person about three hours later. I walked downstairs and my whole family was down there smiling like idiots. They weren't smiling at me though. They'd already started opening gifts without me. They didn't even notice me come in. I can just feel the love.

That's the thing though. The only time I've ever felt real love and the feeling of someone actually appreciating my existence was when I was with Carson.

I know that Rose loves me, but that's just in a friend way.

What I'm looking for is deeper than that. I get absolutely no love from my family, so when I get some from Carson it's like my whole world revolved around that and now that it's gone I don't know what to do.

I just want someone to give me some sort of answer. I still have to wait a few days before going back to school, so I can't confront him there.

I grabbed my presents and they were all just cards full of cash. My family may not love me, but they still give me money.

I sighed and took my money back upstairs. I put the cash in my wallet and decided to get ready.

It's a tradition to go to the mall on Christmas day to get a picture with Santa. It's always so embarrassing.

My parents shoved a hideous Santa hat on my head and we made our way to Santa's malevolent lair.

I hung back most of the time, but then my mother forced me to take a picture with all my cousins. They hate me and I hate them, why must we be forced into this torture every year?

I sighed in relief when it was finally over. I reached in my pocket for my cell phone, but then cursed when I realized I left it in the car. I really wanted to call Rose to meet me here. Then again, she'd probably have to decline because her parents would make her do fun things with the family. She actually likes her kin.

I sighed and shopped with my family for a little while. I didn't know if things could get much worse, but...they did.

Warner decided to show up. Lucky me...

My family went ahead of me leaving me to talk to him.

"Hey Gracie May."

"Hello." I said indifferently.