chapter 21- With him > without him

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kenzie's p.o.v

The next day I woke up somewhere that definitely wasn't my bed. I rubbed my eyes, sitting up and taking a look at my surroundings. that's when I realised I was in Lauren's room and I turned to see her sleeping figure, snoring next to me.

I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and checked the time. It was nine am on a Saturday morning.

We came back from the party late and I distinctly remembered falling asleep in the backseat with John. Lauren probably brought us both into the house and decided to let me sleep over.

Oh no
My mom is going to kill me.

I opened my phone to see five missed calls from Maddie and texts as well,

mads- oi where u at it's 2 am!!
mads- hello???
mads- moms not home and she left me incharge
mads- ugh nvm ur probably sleeping over at lauren's.

  I typed back,

Kenzieboo- Sorry I forgot to tell you I slept over cause it got late

She typed back almost instantly,

mads- well just stay till like lunch or something cause moms still out and I'm at Cameron's

Kenzieboo- ok

I switched my phone off, snuggling back into bed to sleep longer.

Only what felt like thirty seconds later, I was woken up by someone shaking me.

"Kenz wake up!" I heard Lauren's voice. I moaned.
"It's eleven thirty. Wake up if you don't wanna miss out on my Dad's made blueberry pancakes."

mmm Dale does make amazing blueberry pancakes.

I pull myself out of bed, rubbing my eyes. "Okay let me just go back to my house and brush my teeth and get changed." I yawned, grabbing my phone from the bed side table.

I'm definitely not a morning person.

I got out of Lauren's room debating whether to be a wimp and go through the front door or be brave for once and face Johnny by going home through his bedroom window.

A part of me wanted to head to his room, and that's the part I listened to. I was really nervous too see him after what happened last night.
Cuddling up to him in the car definitely did not help my feelings die down.

Would he even remember?
He was so drunk.

I crossed the hallway and took a deep breath before opening his room door. My breath hitched as I saw him just lying in bed.

He looked up and I saw his eyes visibly soften when he saw me. He got up and moved towards me. I've never wanted to run my hands through his hair more than I did now. It was disheveled and messed up and I can't even explain how adorable he looked, his features softened from sleep. He would've just woken up.

He probably didn't remember that  I had forgiven him last night  which his why his movements were so painfully slow. He stared at me warily.

"Hi." He said, his voice was husky with sleep. He was standing only a few inches away from me. Not knowing how much his presence affected me.
I mumbled,"Hi."

I looked down, burning under his intense gaze.
I didn't exactly know what to say.
Should I start with an "I forgive you" or let him apologise again?

He beat me to it.

"Kenz..look I don't know what happened last night," he let out a gush of air through his mouth,"To be honest I don't know what's happened to our friendship. I just miss you so much." He sighed.

At that moment I knew, irregardless of my feelings, he was my best friend and life with him was better than without him.
Even if that means I'll have to bear with Nadia.

"I missed you too John." I said looking up at him and my eyes watered. I missed him more than I even realised.
"The last few weeks have been difficult.."

His eyes softened.
"Yeah..difficult." He agreed.

"So you forgive me?" He asks, eyes wide.

I nod slowly.

He gave me a smile that made my insides melt and pulled me into a hug against his warm body.
I buried my face into his shoulder with a sigh.

"I didn't mean to say that to you. I swear. You....I'm so ashamed of myself." He says against my hair, and in that moment, he sounds so honest and regretful it's hard to hold onto my anger.

He pulls away, still clutching onto my shoulders.

"You had every right to be mad at me.  No matter how mad I get at the idea of you and Brown," he shook his head bitterly, "It wasn't okay.
I didn't mean to get so angry, I just did. If you want to be with Jacob I..I'll find some way to live with it." He said through clenched teeth.

I didn't say anything to that, I just pulled him into another hug, burying my face further into him so I could inhale his heady scent.

We stood like that for a few seconds before I pulled away and he let me go seeming reluctant.

"If he hurts you, you'll let me know?" He asked, his eyes darkening.

My eyes widened.
"John he-"

"Kenz please. I'm trying to be okay with this." He rubbed his temples, eyes squeezing shut. I just watched him, confused by how frustrated he is.

He really doesn't trust Jacob does he?
I pursed my lips.
"I'll tell you."

He opened his eyes, looking at me intensely.
"You really like him, do you?"

I bite my lip.
"I..I think I do. I don't know, I just wanna see where it goes." I say honestly.

He says nothing, just stares at me, in that intense way of his, as if he's trying to read my mind and is frustrated that he can't.

"Um, I'm going to go freshen up." I tried to move towards the window, but he grabbed my wrist.

"Stay."

My insides flipped at the urgency behind his tone. He wanted me to stay.

"I'm not going anywhere. Just getting changed and coming back. Dale's made pancakes and I'm not missing out on them." I smiled at him brightly.

His eyes lit up, and he smiled at me  like a little boy.

"I'm coming back in five. Don't you dare finish them." I threatened.
"I can't promise that." He said raising his eyebrows.

I shot him a dirty look and he put his hands up laughing.

"Alright alright. Just come back quick."






This chapter highlights the fact that I'm a trashy writer but oh well🤷🏼‍♀️
thanks for reading ily💗

~annie

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