Chapter 4

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Best sleep I've had all year. Mmmm. I rolled over and looked at my clock and I notice Michael was right there. "So you think it's cool to bring some nigga to my house?" I started to cry. His face had change to an evil look. He picked me up and slammed me on the floor. I was moaning and groaning. He had knocked the wind out of me. There was so much pain after each slam and blow. Michael had finally stopped after I could no longer groan or move. Epson Salt huh? relieves soreness and pain nothing on her for external and mental bruising. Hot bath and rest, laying here hoping he would leave or go to sleep so I could go get some pain medicine and not run into him, seeing his face disgusts me.

I need to buy me a cell phone, just in case someone tried to stop by the house, at least they could call me and warn me. I have to see how much a phone, the bill cost and how would I get the money? This situation is tearing me apart, I hate myself, and I have low trust issues. Some of the bruises on my face and arm had cleared up, can my day get any worse. I live by 4 abandon homes, one on each side of my house. No one can really hear me scream when or if I need any help. Can't wait to get back to school. I was going to go to school today but when Michael slammed me 4 times that changed the plan. That right there made me feel sick and unloved. I'll never find a man to love me. I have unresolved pain that i have to deal with on a day to day basis.

I'm going to be the lady with 7 cats that no one wants. Kayden mentioning I'm beautiful, me? Kayden could not possibly think that I'm beautiful, I think he's just saying that to be nice to me. I think I will just go riding around town to see if I can find any job openings. Strippers make a lot of money, now there's a thought, but i'm not going down that road, I have enough drama in my life right now. God please help me I say to myself while filling out job applications. Damn I forgot I needed to look into cell phone pricing. I asked a few friends what was cheapest cell phone carrier, and Metro PCS it is. The rep said the bill would be $60 a month but for a phone it will be $200. Where in the hell am I going to get this kind of money? I wish my mom was here to guide me!

Maybe if I try to dream  about her, maybe she can give me some advice on what to do. I'm going to just go home and start filling out apps. Michael brings me dinner! Wow he actually cooked for me, it's been awhile since he had done that for me. My first meal of the week. I turn on my tv to law and order. Watching this, I can learn a lot to. Technically i'm in school just not doing school work. I'm going to take a shower and put on my favorite nightgown, robe and fuzzy socks my mommy bought for me. I tried to finish the food he fixed but my stomach is full. Full of disgust. Laying here, thinking to myself I've been through hell and back , too much has happened since my mother died. Well, I'm going to bed.

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