Chapter Twenty-Six
Zayn
Three hours later, and we hadn't even made it out of the restaurant. Passenger's concert was already halfway over, not that it really mattered. I would call him and apologize, and I'd bring Joelle to another one of his concerts some other time. This seemed way more important. It took about thirty minutes to get her more comfortable, she just sat there staring at me as if she was having a long fight internally. I told her she didn't have to say anything, and she didn't for the first thirty minutes. She spoke her order to the waitress, but other than that we sat in silence. Eventually, I just started telling her about me.
"When I was fourteen, my youngest sister almost died. My mum put me in charge of walking with her to school and I wanted to be cool to my friends, so I left her by herself. She got lost on the way, ended up in some shady store where it's notable for robberies and stabbings. Luckily an older woman lives around there and saw my little baby sister and brought her to the school since it was relatively close, and figured that with a backpack and dressed in the school uniform, she belonged there. I've never really forgiven myself for it, even though both my mum and sister have forgiven me many times. It makes you think 'what if that lady hadn't been there? what kind of horrible things can happen to a seven year old?'"
Joelle's face contorted into one of sympathy, she reached her hand out to rest it barely touching mine. She looked like she was about to say something, but I stopped her.
"When I was sixteen, one of my best friends attempted suicide. His dad caught him before hand, but it set off this eternal war on how I should have known. We hung out all the time, so how did I now know the dark thoughts going through his head? I mean, depressed people are great at hiding it, but being so close to him, I should have seen through it. Shouldn't I have?"
Joelle sighed this time, her eyes softening.
"Then we started this band. It's crazy how we're all five idiots but we get to live this incredible life. Our families no longer have to worry about money, we have people adoring everything we do, and we can never do any wrong… Or so that's what we're told. But it's really hard when the guys seem to have more fans than me. They don't get half the hate I do, either for my religion, my secrecy, my family. It's ridiculous. Sometimes I feel like if I left the band, no one would really notice. They'd have no problem replacing me."
"You know that's not true, Zayn." Joelle contradicted, scooting forward so she could look me straight in the eye without any distractions from things around me. "You know you're one of the most coveted guys on this planet, right? Just knowing you made me a somebody. So who cares what a few pricks say about you when you've got the best support system around?"
"I don't talk much," I said as I took both her hands in mine. "Because I don't feel like what I have to say is more important than the story of Harry's latest conquest or Louis' latest prank. Niall does enough talking for the group, honestly. Around you, though, I feel like I could for years. Like you're listening and you're caring what I say. It doesn't go in one ear and out the other, and you're not impatiently tapping your toes since I'm talking and not kissing you. It's impossible to find someone like that."
"You're mistaken, Zayn. Just because I know how to listen, doesn't mean I'm perfect for you." She shook her head slowly, trying to convince herself more than me.
"You're different. I could find a girl that would do, I'm sure of that. Except that girl wouldn't be you, so I would never be as happy as I could be with you. I failed maths in sixth year, I hate not doing my hair when I have to go out because it embarrasses me, I'm obsessed with Graceland and I've never missed an episode, I could listen to music for the rest of my life and I'd be happy, and I could stare at you all day, every day."
"I'm not perfect in any way. You don't know how screwed up I am, what I've had to deal with. You don't want to have to deal with it too, Zayn. It's hard enough for me."
"I want to know. I want to help. Start with the simple things, like what was your first teacher's name? Proudest moment of your life?" I asked, reveling in the feeling of her hands in mine, hoping she wouldn't realize and snatch them away.
"My first teacher was Mrs. Carry, and she killed our pet fish, Boris. And the proudest moment of my life was when someone came up to me and said the only reason they listened to Mess was because of me." Joelle relented, shrugging her shoulders a bit as she started to smile.
"What's one song you could never get tired of?" I continued.
"Drops of Jupiter." She replied easily.
"Best present you've ever gotten?"
"I got a tamagotchi for my eighth birthday and I actually still have it somewhere," she laughed. "The funny thing was that it died only a few days after I got it, so my parents tried to buy me another one but I told them they didn't need to. Instead of getting a new battery or anything, I simply acted like it was still alive. The screen was blank, but I would make the sound effects of it still being there."
"First pet?"
"We got a tortoise when I was six, I think. Blake killed it because he left it outside during a storm. Well, we don't really know if he died, but he wasn't there the next day. It broke my heart, Matilda was my only friend pretty much. I told her everything. Then we got Mandi, a guinea pig, who somehow escaped her cage and we found her three days later in the bathroom cabinet. I found her, actually, and it scared me for life. I was only ten. After that, my parents gave up on pets. They realized they were killers." Now she had a genuine smile on her face, and I couldn't help mirroring it as I saw her genuinely happy for once.
"Secret obsession?"
"It's not really a secret, but music. There's so much more to it than a lot of people realize. It's the best way to convey emotions and I think it means a lot more than simple words."
"When was the first time you fell in love?" I dug a little deeper, and almost regretted it when she flinched a bit. She slowly withdrew her hands from mine, but didn't once break eye contact. Seconds ticked by and our cold food was starting to look gross, not that it mattered.
"With you, Zayn."
IT'S SHORT, YEAH I GET IT. SORRY. BUUUUUUUT BIG THINGS HAPPENED SO WHATEVER ;) One more official chapter, then the epilogue! Woo! Once this story is done, (as well as The Lyric Project) then I'm posting my TWO ORIGINAL STORIES! Go check them out on my profile.
Princess Of Nothing
She took the one thing I thought was undeniably mine. She took my privacy. Because who can have a life when your twin sister is a pop princess?
Little Miss Broadway
To put it simply, the three things that make up Blythe Addens are Broadway, Mac&Cheese, and Aaron Tveit. When she's faced with the opportunity of a lifetime, she combines all three and honestly, who knows if the outcome will make or break her?
