Her Unreasonable Love (Completed)

Chapter 32 - I'm free

In a perfect world I wouldn’t had been in such a situation. But obviously life was just not that perfect and so was our minds. Everything that Ayaan said was making a huge impact on me. Though I tried to brush it off my mind, it was easier said than done. He was right. What did I have to live for? I would just be a burden on my family. They would be devastated with what happened with me but I didn’t want to live to experience that.

It was impossible to have a fresh start. I would always be haunted by my six months marriage with Ayaan. Even if I did have a fresh start, it would live with me forever and my family would have to face the consequences of having a divorced daughter in the house.

I could fix things with Sarah. But to know that she was happily married while I was sulking with my broken marriage, would never make things the way they were before between us. I knew I could count on Rayan, he still loved me. But he doesn’t deserve to be with someone so damaged. It’s not his responsibility to pick up my broken pieces.

Nothing could ever get better.

Death was the only way to free myself from all the pain and future humiliation. Maybe I was wrong but it seemed like the right thing to do. But I wouldn’t go alone. If Ayaan and I couldn’t live together in peace, we could at least die together.

I wanted him to be happy but clearly his happiness came from others’ pain. I would be doing him a favor. No matter how much happiness it gave him to see me suffer, deep down it must be killing him too. It started with Inaya and it would end with Safa.

“You are good Safa. But sooner or later you will be found”, he said and laughed.

I snapped out of my thoughts and wiped my tears away. I wasn’t going to cry anymore. I took a deep breath and tried to see him from the cracks of the cabinet. It was almost dark outside and the moonlight was not being very helpful. He turned on the lights of the living room and I saw him advance towards the kitchen. My heart started racing. There was nothing in there that I could use as a defense.

I shut my eyes tight and moved against the wall. I was hoping that the darkness in the kitchen would make it difficult for him to find me.

Please don’t. Please don’t. Please don’t.

I jerked as I heard a door upstairs slam shut. Maybe it was the wind but whatever it was, it helped. It saved my life , at least for that very moment. Ayaan immediately snapped around and went towards the stairs with the creepiest smile I had ever seen across his face.

“Looks like I found you”, he said and went up.

When he was out of sight, I waited until he turned on the lights on the top floor to make sure that he was really gone. When I saw the lights go on, I silently went out of the kitchen and looked around to see if I could use anything as defence. I went and grabbed the vase from the table and took a deep breath before going up.

They were the most difficult steps I had taken. I was shivering with fear and yet had the courage to face him. The rooms were shut and I heard attentively to know where he was. I heard footsteps from the bedroom and stood at the side of the door where he couldn’t see me. I gripped onto the vase tightly and took a deep breath when I heard the footsteps nearing. The door unlocked and it was my cue to attack. I swung my arms in force and shut my eyes. I heard no sound and when I opened my eyes, he was in front of me.

“Bad timing. Could had waited just two more seconds”, he said and kicked me.

I fell on the ground but didn’t let go of the vase. He pulled me by my leg into the bedroom and I screamed trying to relieve myself. All my struggles to let loose from his grip went to vain until he came ahead to grab the vase from my hand. I swung my arm and it hit him right in the head. He screamed and fell on the floor.

“Perfect timing”, I said and got up.

He curled up into a ball with his palms pressed against his forehead. I heard him whimper and for the first time I didn't sympathize with him.

“This is for saying that Marwa belongs to you”, I said and hit him with the vase.

*This*

“This is for torturing me physically and mentally.”

*Thud*

"This is for tying me up.”

*Thud*

“This is for ruining my life.”

*Thud*

“This is for calling me a slut.”

*Thud*

"This is for..."

It was then I realized that he wasn’t moving anymore. I saw blood streaming out of his head. His back was facing me and I was too scared to look at his face. The adrenaline was draining off and my hands started shaking. The vase fell from my hand and I fell on the ground.

I wasn’t crying. My eyes were too numb and my body exhausted to do anything. I didn’t know what to feel. I was supposed to be happy that the nightmare was over but I wasn’t. Though I defeated him, I felt like I was the one who lost.

I heard something vibrating and my phone fell from Ayaan’s pocket. I stretched out and took it. It was my mother calling. I was about to answer her call, I wanted her more than I ever did. But what would I tell her? That her daughter killed her husband? That she wasn’t a good girl anymore?

I smirked at my thoughts and put my phone aside. The wind blowing my hair over my face. I got up and went towards the open window. The cool breeze was soothing my body but the pain in my heart kept increasing.

I knew I could save myself, but it didn't matter anymore. I never wanted to be saved, I just wanted to be happy. I just wanted to live a normal life. To know that when I went to bed at night, I had people who were happy to see me wake up the next morning.

Without any fear, I climbed up the sill of the window with ease. It was breezy and calm, the scene in front of me was magnificent. The leaves from the trees were dancing to the soft wind. The night sky, as beautiful as ever. I looked down and saw a pile of boxes on the ground. It was going to be my bed for the night.

It was never too late to try harder, to believe in yourself and the higher power. But I had given up.

Were looks everything?

Why was I not as pretty and as slim as Marwa, we shared the same genes.

Did I deserve all this?

Was it too much to ask? To be happy? To have a loving husband? To be accepted for who I was?

It didn't matter anymore, I won’t be needing any answers. My entire life was flashing in front of my eyes. The first time Marwa held my little finger with her tiny hand, my mom's tears when I graduated, my dad saying 'I don’t need a son, I have you', Sarah’s hug when I cried, Rayan's love to fight the world for me. I was surrounded with the best people and there I was on the window sill, taking my last breath. I didn't even had the courage to tell them good bye.

Maybe that was how it ends. We come alone, we leave alone and all that happens in between is an illusion. The first one to talk to me when I was born was my mom, but I didn’t have the courage to let her be the last one I talk to.

I had lived it all, and that was enough. I couldn't wait to meet my God. Unless, he didn't want me either.

I heard something move and I turned to see Ayaan’s body shaking. I was seeing the panting body of Ayaan and I didn't care that he was bleeding, I didn't care that he needed help. All I cared about was that I’m free.

With arms wide open, I embraced the sweet sleep of death and set my body to eternal rest.

__________

Hello my lovely readers 🥰,

With this chapter, the story comes to an end. It was very difficult to write it but I hope I did justice with my way of potrayal.

It was great trying my hands on writing and I can proudly say that I have become better. It is a long way before I could become really good.

Please hit the star if you liked the end and I will update the epilogue in a week, hopefully.

Much love ❤️ ❤️❤️