You're the one I .... adore??.....

LILY

AMARA's POVr:

I starred at Liam as he looked at me with dreadfilled questioning eyes. " Did she faint because of me?" He whispered again and I felt myself blanch. How was I to explain him 11 years of pain and suffering? How was I to tell him about my love for him that over rode my love for my daughter? How could I tell him that my selfishness did this to her. I knew if I did, I just knew it, he would get up and leave and never ever come back...

"Amy?" Please talk to me. I can't see you like this, nor can I look at her suffer. Please my darling sis, tell me." He implored as a lone tear quitely slid down his handsome face. With that the damn in me simply broke and all the pain, the guilt, the hurt and love came pouring out. I burst out into tears and in between sobs tried to explain all to my little brother who was a man now. Whom I did not see for over a decade.

Albert and Sam urshered the kids out leaving Liam and me next to Lily. I lovingly played with her hair as I tried to find words to describe Lily's agony during these years. Finally opting to speak from the bginning, and speak straight, I began, " Liam, its a long story, but it is something you should know. Please lsten to me before you make any judgement or react to anything." I breathed and he nodded, then he held my hand in his large calloused hand and I instantly felt at peace.

Looking into his eyes, I began, "You remeber the accident that killed Jake and Hannah, all those years ago? Well, Lily was driving with them and she survived. The doctors called it a miracle. Her parents were a wreak and she was largely unharmed, right?" I asked and he nodded.

" I remeber all of it darling." He whispered and I continued.

"No, she wasn't unharmed. She saw it all happen. It affected her. Innitially she went numb, quite, not quite understanding all of it. She was merely 6 years old then. A child, who was still fighting to keep her innocence. But she stopped playing and never left my side. When they realsed her to Sam and my care at the hospital, she hugged me tight, those big sad eyes telling more and asking even more painful questions, she wasn't crying and the doctors felt that it was shock and being a child, she would over come all of it. We had hoped too."

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. The night mare running in my head was over, long gone but the reality was still painful. Liam was silently crying, one hand hold mine and the other holding Lily's. I know what he was thinking. I choked merely remebering those awful days, but I forced myself to continue.

"We were the guardians to Lily and Peter as per their parents' last wish. Weirdly, they had ammended it just three months before their death, as if somehow sensing this would happen. Trusts were created securing the future of these children and Lawyers were instructed in how to deal with their deaths. It was almost as if death had given them a few grace months in which to set their lives out. That night, Peter had stayyed back with Albert and us but Lily refused to part with her dad. She was running high fever and a worried Hannah finally took her home.  They never reached home. We got Lily to our house a week later, two days before the funeral. You were there with a shocked Paton then, Hannah's sister. Lily had become so quite, so lifeless that it was scarring me. But the moment we walked in and she laid her eyes on you carrying Peter, she squeled with joy. It was as if life came back to her. I remeber her running straight into your outstretched arms and crying. That was the first time she had cried in over a week. She had ignored Payton then and had clung to peter and you. Do you remeber?" I asked as a small smile played at Liam's lips on remebering Lily's famous bear hugs.

"I remember." He whispered as he looked down at Lily, still asleep. "I still can't believe how much she has grown." He spoke in awe and I laughed. "Yes Liam, children do have a shocking quality to grow up you know." He looked stunned and then he too laughed.