Then It Hits Me

Chapter 11: Drunk Barbecues

"Guess who just called me to tell me that you are only using me for sex?"

When I look up at Miller, the blinding sunlight hits my eyes and I look down immediately. I know who called though. "Ella?"

Miller nods with an amused smile, "Apparently, you told your best friend Ella that the reason you're dating me is just so that you can lose your virginity to someone as pretty as I am. She also said that she thinks that we should get back together again, so that I'm safe from 'the beast that is Caitlin Mays'."

"What did you tell her?" I roll my eyes a bit painfully.

"To fuck off, obviously," he tells me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, which it probably is to people who aren't Caitlin Mays.

I laugh lightly, "Obviously."

The look he gives me next confuses me greatly. It's a mix of confusion, admiration, and curiosity? He keeps his gaze on me and I find that I am keeping mines on him.

He's just so pretty. I'm actually understanding those die-hard love finding girls at school who practically jump on Miller every time their eyes land on him. Every time he moves his head, his brown hair swishes around. When he looks at you, his gray eyes are so intense and focused. His lips are so full and–

Snap out of it!

I really need Miller to hit me with his football again. Maybe that'll knock the sense back into me.

I hate football players. They are stupid, shallow jerks who think of girls as condoms; they use them, then throw them away.

"Warn me if you two are going to kiss," Carter snaps my attention to somewhere other than Miller's face.

Before I can deny it, Miller grabs my shoulders, twists my body to face his, and places a kiss smack dab on my lips.

So much for a fantasy first kiss.

It would be an over statement to say that the kiss was chaste. It was more of the kind of kiss two six year olds would do just because they see their parents doing it. Even if if wasn't much of a kiss, I still felt the millisecond of heat that traveled through my body followed by one of Carter's groans.

"Aw man Miller! I don't need to see you making out with my sister! Jesus Christ! Oh and the next time she kisses me on the cheek, all I'll be able to think about is your lips against– Forget it!" he throws his arms into the air to emphasize his disgust and storms away.

I'm literally scared to look at him right now.

A few minutes ago, we were having a stare off, now I can't even blink in his direction. Life is funny... not really.

"Sorry," I hear him say a bit sheepishly.

"It's fine," I say not making eye contact with him. Ugh, I probably sound unconvincing,but maybe that's because I am still trying to convince myself.

We sit in silence for another couple of minutes. I can basically hear Miller thinking. His breathing has become deeper and faster and he's rocking back and forth.

Once again, he grabs my shoulders and twists me so that we are looking each other straight in the eye. Is he going to kiss ms again? Do I want him to kiss me again?