Then It Hits Me

Chapter 24: I Literally Want To Fly Away

"Caitlin, are you ready?"

My hair is so tight it hurts, but nothing like my false lashes. Whenever I look up, there is a burning sensation on my eyelid. My dress is scratchy because it's made out of polyester and lace. It's a simple white dress that has been ripped and covered in mud. The only thing remotely normal about me are my nude dance shoes. Let's not even speak of my makeup. I look like a clown, but apparently it looks great on stage.

My solo is called Fly Away. It's thoughtful and slow, which I enjoy doing because if its done right, is always a winner. Fly Away is about a girl lost in the ruins of a tornado. That's why I look like a rag doll. I'm supposed to look distressed and lost, which shouldn't be a problem considering all that has happened recently.

"Yes." I step out of the changing area. My teammates cheer. Even Ella does, but bitterly at it. This is our second competition ans she's been nicer than she usually is. She probably pities me because of Miller. Everyone knows that we broke up, so they are either cheery because the hottest guy in school is available again or the kinder ones are helping me get through it. Sorry to admit, I'm still in the worst of moods because of Miller.

As I pass by to get to the door, Hailey smiles as she is stretching Gianna. "You kill em', girl." She was always kind of the team cheerleader. Gianna, Hailey's golden-haired best friend also gives a smile, but a painful one because her stretching must hurt. "Break a leg, Caitlin!"

I really hope I don't.

Miss Moselli and I are lead backstage by one of the competition's directors. She leaves us with a gap-toothed grin. I HATE being backstage. It's dark with yellow florescent lights trying to lighten it up a bit. The other competitors either laugh at your costume or think it looks amazing. This time, they are gossiping about how I look like they just dug me out of my grave. I can't disagree.

"The kids are at it again," Miss Moselli whispers to me and rolls her eyes. She notices the other kids talking about me too.

I'm so used to this crap, I don't even care. "They're always at it. They can't accept that not all things in the world are all lovey-dovey and about fairies and princesses."

Miss Moselli looks at me in surprise. "Wow. When did you become so sassy? I hope some of that rubs off on your dancing. You must know that you've been lacking some jazz lately." I want to snap at her because she has no idea what I had to go through, but a backstage lady tells me that I'm next. After all, how many times in a lifetime does your mom pay people to like you?

A hell lot.

"Wonderful! Absolutely stunning!" The announcer fakes enthusiasm at the end of the girl in front of mine's performance. I've learned to not watch the kids' before me dance because it just makes you die inside. "And now, we have Caitlin performing in the Contemporary category with Fly Away."

That's it. I force myself on stage and once the spotlight hits, I forget who I am and become who the girl ruined by a disastrous tornado. I pirouette so fast like the winds of a tornado, making sure my face made me look distressed. In the middle of performing the complicated dance move, The Butterfly, I spot him.

Who the hell are you if you don't know who I'm talking about?

I've though of his face for the last two months. I cried on Valentine's day for him... because of him! The memory of his thick, but smooth voice rings in all my dreams no matter how hard I try to fight them off. Miller sits in the crowd alongside my mother, watching me intensely.

Any normal dancer would've stopped and stared like an idiot. I'm an idiot, but I am not a normal dancer. I'm clumsy, forgetful and one of the most cliche people you will ever meet.